The Random Artifact Crossover Series!
by Bl00dstain3d
Summary: Warehouse 13: America's Junk Drawer...who knows what's inside it's walls.
1. The Pirate's Compass

The Pirate's Compass

Fandom: Warehouse 13/PoTC

Characters: Jack S. Claudia D. Pete L. Myka B. Artie N. Random POTC Cameos

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: I was watching the Pirates double feature on USA, and during DMC, I came to the conclusion that Jack's compass is like an artifact. So, I decided to write a fanfic about it. It probably fails, since I've only seen a few episodes of Warehouse 13. Tia Dalma likely used magic to make the compass, but there's gotta be some unknown side effect to it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Some of this is direct quote from the movie(s? Not exactly sure if I used more than AWE) so follow the general rule "If it looks familiar, and it's not in my original stuff, it's not mine." And I haven't written Jack for a LOOOONG time...so he may sound closer to how I write Drake than Jack...

EVERYTHING IS HENCHFORTH DISCLAIMED

(Also, I have a Hetalia piece in the works, keep an eye out for that)

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><p>The room was in utter chaos, it looked like a bar brawl had taken place in it. One had actually, springing free from the compass now sitting calmly in a clear patch of floor, a bar full of drunken pirates had appeared when the compass had opened on it's own. It had closed as suddenly as it opened. A young woman had taken refuge under a desk, and as the pirates vanished, one Captain Jack Sparrow winked at her before vanishing. She sold the compass at a pawn shop two days later.<p>

* * *

><p>The room was full of bullet holes and scorch marks, a door was blown off it's hinges. This time, the compass had let loose a battle between the pirates and the East India Trading company. The man who owned the compass had hidden in a closet, cowering among his wife's clothes. A pirate opened the door, before dissolving on the end on a sword. Captain Jack grinned at him, and vanished when the compass closed. He gave the compass to his nephew.<p>

* * *

><p>This time, a gallows had appeared, and the owner of the compass screamed and fainted. Jack and Will simply jumped over her in their escape from the navy. Her son had gone wide eyed and watched the entire scene with interest. She sent the compass to a friend of hers who knew a bit about the supernatural.<p>

* * *

><p>"…That's the trick innit? To survive?"<p>

"It ain't about livin' forever, Jacky…"

This time, it was only voices, figures shrouded in fog. The compass owner wasn't around at the time, and didn't have time to study it, so she sent it to a friend of her nephew's, who worked with weird things.

* * *

><p>"Claudia, what the hell is this?"<p>

"A friend sent it. She said that a friend of hers saw a pirate come out of it."

Pete walked in with Myka.

"Cool compass!" He said and opened it.

A fight spilled from the compass. Pirates and East India Company sailors filled the room, rain lashed down, frying the computers, and soaking everything.

"Ha ha... Lookie here boys. A lost bird. A lost bird that never learned to fly!"

"To my great regret. But, it's never too late to learn! " Jack launched into the rigging that had taken over the top of the office.

Myka and Claudia had taken refuge under a desk, Pete and Artie were under chairs.

"Part of the ship, part of the crew…" The pirates vanished, Jack tipping his hat to them as the compass closed.

* * *

><p>"From the reports, it seems that the compass was bringing Sparrow's feats into reality again…as if Sparrow is trapped in the compass."<p>

"I've no doubt he is, and I'm quite sure he can come out of the compass alone, he just wants the grandeur of his feats with him. Claudia, when will the computers work again?"

"When they dry out. Why would he want to leave the compass?"

The compass, which had been sitting on Artie's desk opened, and this time, just the pirate captain appeared.

"The compass points to whatever you want most, but if it's over used, you end up like me…trapped inside, always wanting what you can't have…savvy?"

"You can't leave the compass?"

"I return to the compass when it closes, and come out when it's opened…a warning to those who would misuse it."

"How cruel..."

"Cruel is a matter of perspective, luv."

* * *

><p>Artie decided that the compass would be stored in the main area, as long as Jack behaved. Jack had whined that he got bored. Claudia had said that she could use help navigating the warehouse, if Jack would take the time to memorize the layout.<p>

"I'm stuck in a bloody compass, luv, what else do I have to do?"


	2. Artifact Sheet: Jack Sparrow's Compass

Artifact Sheet

Authoress Ramblings: It occurred to me that the compass needs an official-ish entry into the Warehouse 13 computer. This will go here because this is the first installment of this universe.

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><p>Artifact Name: Jack Sparrow's Compass<p>

Object: "Magic" Compass

Age: Approx. 200 years

Origin: Caribbean

Properties: Points to the thing the holder wants most. Contains the spirit of Jack Sparrow, and produces images when opened.

Danger Level: Medium

Warnings: The spirit gets bored and causes trouble. This artifact can move at the discretion of the spirit, if it is open. The compass reacts normally with neutralizer, but it hurts Jack, and makes him grouchy and ill if it gets inside the compass casing. The compass only points north when in neutralizer, and doesn't point to the Bronze Sector or the Dark Vault, and the Escher Vault makes it point south.

About Jack: He intuitively knows were other artifacts are (a combination of being part of a compass and his pirate nature), and controls most of the functions of the compass, except it's original purpose of pointing to the thing the holder wants most. He can interact with the physical world as long as the compass is open, and he can prevent the compass from being opened, and he can hear what goes on outside the compass when it's closed. He tends to steal small items and hide them in the Warehouse, Artie gets irritated when it's his glasses, and Claudia makes him return them. Jack never goes into the Bronze Sector or the Dark Vault


	3. Artifact Sheet: Nny's Sketchbook

Artifact Sheet

Okay...this is part of the next installment of my Jack Sparrow's Compass universe...which I am now calling the "Random Artifact Crossover Series" because it now has Jack's Compass and Nny's Sketchbook in it...and may have Sherlock Holmes' Pipe in it later...

Anywho, for this one you need to know (Or be familiar with) Jhonen Vasquez's "Johnny The Homicidal Maniac." Nny's necklace IS from a volume...you can see it when he bends over, it dangles from his neck. Spoilers for the last three volumes of Johnny.

Nny is owned by Jhonen Vasquez

Jack is owned by Disney

Sketchbook Nny is owned by Me.

Compass Jack is owned by Me.

In this universe, Artifact-ed Characters may be OoC, especially the older ones. I still haven't seen the fourth pirates movie either.

Now, read, and give feedback. (Artifacts are always in need of fine tuning, give me ideas and I'll credit you when I tweak them.)

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><p>Nny has a two piece artifact. I chose a sketchbook since before he went insane Nny was an artist, I figured he would keep it even after losing the ability to draw. He did regain that ability upon integration with the book. I chose his necklace because I wanted the book to be handle-able, but I also wanted it to cause insanity, so the necklace became a protective piece. Think of it as Nailbunny's influence. Some of the properties, such as the book absorbing liquid were intended to be extensions of Nny's traits. It can absorb liquid so Nny can still have his Cherry Brain Freezies and Fiz-Wiz. The pages never run out because then the book would be useless, and causing insanity is the remnant of the Doughboys and the Wall's influence. Finding artifacts was based off of something I read in a book. I picture him sketching the room, and then being able to locate items in the room.<p>

Artifact Name: Nny's Sketchbook (The Homicidal Maniac's Sketchbook), Nny's Necklace

Object: Sentient Sketchbook/ Protective Necklace

Age: Approx. 10 years (Time Nny owned the items, not the length of time as artifacts)

Origin: USA

Properties: Sketchbook draws in self, finds artifacts, causes insanity, absorbs liquids, pages never run out. Necklace protects against the sketchbook's effect and allows the wearer to hear Nny's voice.

Danger Level: High

Warnings: The sketchbook causes insanity when drawn in by anyone not wearing the necklace. The book cannot be neutralized without being soaked in human blood first.

Sketchbook Appearance: An old beat up sketchbook with blood, coffee and pasta sauce stains on the cover. Half the book is blank, used by Nny to communicate. Old photographs are taped to the back inside cover.

Necklace: Nny's Necklace. Once worn by Nny during life, now it channels his emotions. Pete wears it, since Myka carries Jack's compass.

About Nny: Nny does not exist outside the sketchbook anymore. He appears as a drawing in the book when he needs to interact with the outside world. He occasionally draws other things in his environment, usually Nailbunny or Happy Noodle Boy. He speaks with comic speech bubbles, and his voice can only be heard by the wearer of his necklace, unless he's upset, when he can be heard by anyone in the same room as the sketchbook, the necklace heats up and cools down with Nny's emotions. He can physically attack anyone holding the sketchbook, as long as they're touching the page he's on, inflicting minor wounds. He does not like Jack, who can also hear him. Nny draws morbid scenes in his sketchbook to freak out and annoy the warehouse crew, and frequently draws Jack's death. He still likes Cherry Fiz-Wiz and Cherry Brain Freezies,he is bribed with. Nny does not like working with them, and gets annoyed when people touch him. He doesn't mind the sketchbook being touched but doesn't like his drawing touched. Nny can not move the sketchbook, but can move freely through the pages, Jack can move the sketchbook, and use the sketchbook without the effects. Nny's attacks don't work on him either.


	4. The Maniac's Sketchbook

Title: The Maniac's Sketchbook

Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/Warehouse 13

Random Artifact Crossover Series AU

Rating: T (Mentions of Suicide and language)

Characters: Nny, Jack, Warehouse Gang.

Authoress Ramblings: I have no clue...I don't like it but these explanation chapters are needed...

_Italics_ is Johnny's speech. Remember this, because only Jack and the person wearing the necklace can hear him.

* * *

><p>The gun was looking tempting. Eyes fell on an old scrapbook. Memories of a happier time, a time he couldn't remember, faces he didn't have names for…<p>

God he hated guns.

BLAM!

Pages fluttered, the book fell into the growing blood pool.

Next door, a child screamed.

* * *

><p>Claudia looked at the worn sketchbook in her hands, the cover was black, and had a large white Z with a question mark on it. The cover was stained with coffee and blood, in fact, most of the pages were stained with blood. She'd been told that it had fallen into the owner's blood. She opened the book, and flipped through the pictures. They went from beautiful gothic comics to horrid comic about a stick figure, where they ended.<p>

_Who are you?_

A figure appeared on the blood stained page. He was tall and skinny, for a comic character. Claudia hadn't noticed his speech bubble, or him, she'd found the necklace that had dangled from the spiral edge of the book. It had the same emblem as the book.

_Who are you?_

The figure looked confused, he looked around his blank surroundings.

_Where am I? Nailbunny? Mr. Eff? Pyscho-Doughboy? WHERE IS EVERYONE?_

Claudia looked at the page.

"Where did you come from?"

_Who are you? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? LET ME GO!_

Claudia dropped the sketchbook. The figure on the page was freaking out.

_WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?_

* * *

><p>The sketchbook and necklace sat on Artie's desk. The figure had reappeared twice, and refused to speak after introducing himself as Nny. Jack could hear the voice of the spirit in the sketchbook, and so could Claudia, who had slipped the necklace on. The group watched Nny interact with his paper world, creating surroundings. From time to time, he'd break down and start screaming.<p>

* * *

><p>The decision had been made after testing the capabilities of the sketchbook, and Nny had tried to kill Claudia. Johnny had screamed and flipped out, causing the necklace to heat up, causing burns, and the drawings on a page had tried to attack her.<p>

"I think the sketchbook would be safer, for everyone, in the Dark Vault."


	5. Focus Chapter: Nny's Anger

Title: Anger

Fandom: Warehouse 13/ POTC/JTHM/Others

Random Artifact Crossover Series AU

Rating: T (Language)

Characters: Nny, Jack, Warehouse Gang.

Authoress Ramblings: Alrighty, since this is so…open…and I have NO clue who reads this, I'm opening this up…submit Artifacts, and I'll keep them on hand to use in future chapters, credited of course. They don't all have to be sentient like the compass or the sketchbook, nor do they all have to be "good" artifacts. In fact label them if you want them to be in the Warehouse, used like the compass and sketchbook, or held by a bad guy. PM them to me, to avoid theft, anonymous reviewers, my contact info is on my profile, just put "RAXS-Artifact Submission" in the subject line, also include a name to credit you by. See the Artifact Sheet chapters for general information I need, keep them clean, no stealing, no "godmods," avoid Mary Sue-ing, and if things go well, I might even open this story to co-authoring…

Still haven't seen the new Pirates, did pick up a Jack action figure though…I am such a fan girl…anywho…this chapter is filler…really just written for posting the "contest" although it's not really a contest…Okay…this is really just because I wanted to explore Nny's anger while in the book.

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><p>Jack often wondered if it was possible to strangle a book. Nny wanted to kill the pirate, as detailed by the graphic drawings depicting Jack being violently murdered. When Jack got bored, he'd provoke Nny, who'd start shrieking at him and more often than not, the noise would give Pete a headache. Jack would make a seemingly innocent remark, which would set Nny off, and they'd start arguing. Pete would have to leave, and take off the necklace, because it would heat up with Nny's anger, and burn him. Nny's voice became audible when Jack had let the word 'wacky' slip. The necklace got so hot that a piece of paper it was sitting on burst into flames, Pete's eyes got wide, he'd taken it off less than 30 seconds before. Jack paled, and backed up, ink and blood ran from the book smoking as it burned papers it ran over. The drawings on the page grew spiky and dark. Nny was standing amid the chaos in his world, holding his head and muttering to himself, the ink and blood started twisting into shapes outside the book, and when it reached the compass, it started burning it. Jack yelped in pain, and Claudia picked up the compass, cleaning it off, getting burnt herself. The sketchbook had started itself on fire. Nny was ranting, it was clear he wasn't in control of his emotions anymore. Artie ran in with a fire extinguisher, and a canister of neutralizer. They weren't sure the neutralizer would work, it had never worked before. It did and the ink and blood returned to the book, and the necklace cooled down, and Pete was able to pick it up. They all exchanged looks, slightly scared. They'd known Nny was a murderer and was capable of extreme violence and anger, but they hadn't known that he could do that. The damage to the office was now clear, most of it was confined to the desk where the sketchbook usually sat. The papers were destroyed, and the wires for the computer were melted, the book was scorched, and Jack's compass had burn marks on it. Claudia's fingertips had burns on them. The neutralizer effects were wearing off, but Nny was subdued now, and he wouldn't be able to even draw himself for a few hours. Myka took the compass from Claudia, and Artie got out the first aid kit.<p>

"They don't look too bad, they should be fine."

Claudia looked at her fingers, Artie bandaged them.

"What set him off like that?"

"Jack. As usual."

"Jack normally doesn't cause this reaction…."

"He called him wacky…"

"Who taught him that?"

"TV."

The compass opened and Jack appeared, he looked slightly singed.

"How is this my fault?"

"You provoked him."

Jack opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again when Myka glared at him. She pointed to the sketchbook, which was open, and the burnt pages were curling.

"Apologize."

Jack mumbled.

"Apologize."

Jack's voice got louder, but it was still quiet. Myka glared again.

"Sorry…" He didn't sound it, but Myka wasn't going to push it.

Nny could hear them, but he couldn't communicate, he couldn't even form a speech bubble after a neutralizer dunk. The book repelled neutralizer unless soaked with blood, human worked the best, but if necessary animal blood, or the blood and ink mixture the book generated when angry, would work. Vague lines attempted to make speech bubbles, but failed. Jack and Pete couldn't even make out what he was saying.

Claudia brought Nny a Cherry Brain Freezy the next day, because she felt sorry for him.


	6. SPOLIERIFIC! Absence

Title: Spoilerific! Absence

Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/Warehouse 13/PoTC/Others

Random Artifact Crossover Series AU

Rating: T

Characters: Nny, Jack, Warehouse Gang.

Authoress Ramblings: OMG! SPOILERS! Spoilers for 3.1 The New Guy.

Send in your artifacts! If you want a specific character (Pete, Myka, Steve, Claudia or Artie) to use your artifact, please state it, but make it make sense, don't give Artie an offensive artifact and Steve an artifact to make him able to speak every language. Artie would make better use of Steve's artifact and vice versa.

This chapter is a bit choppy...

As always _"This is Nny's speech."_

Again: SPOLIERS

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><p>"I don't want a new partner!"<p>

Jack echoed the sentiment. They wanted Myka back, and both he and Pete were vocal about it. Jack had listened to most of Pete's arguments in silence, refusing to let the compass be opened.

"Why can't Jack be my partner?" "Jack is an artifact, he can not support you in the field."

"I can 'ear ya, ya know?"

"What about Nny?"

"Nny's a book, Pete."

* * *

><p>Nny had pretended to be unaffected by Myka's departure, but he was just as affected as Pete and Jack. Nny had been transferred to the new guy's possession, and he very rarely rose to his bait. He could draw the most graphic gore filled pictures, and all he'd done was flip the lid of the sketchbook closed. Pete would at least humor him. Nny didn't like him at all.<p>

* * *

><p>Pete was floored when Jack and Nny had teamed up to make Steve's life miserable. Nny was clearly the mastermind, Pete had figured that because he'd seen Jack with the protective necklace. He'd then told Steve not to draw in the book. Steve had small things stolen, his car keys, his wallet, and once Nny had persuaded Pete to move his car into the Warehouse, into Ancient storage. Jack had dumped a bucket of neutralizer on Steve, and then Artie stepped in and put an end to the torment.<p>

* * *

><p>Myka looked around the office. She was home.<p>

"MYKA!" Jack sprang from the compass and attempted to hug her. He passed through her.

"Hey Jack…"

A machine squawked followed by a dark voice.

"_Hello Myka." _Claudia had rigged up a system to project Nny's voice and Myka jumped at the sound of it.

"That was Nny, I rigged up something to help us hear him, since Steve refused to tell us what he was saying."

"Jack and Pete were getting along!"

"Nny and Jack were getting along."

Myka laughed. Her absence had shaken up the Warehouse in more ways than one, if Jack was getting along with Nny and Pete. Jack was attempting to tamper with something.

Squawk!

"_You're an idiot."_

Myka sighed. It was good to be home.


	7. Artifact Sheet:Madame de Pompadour Ring

Artifact Sheet

Credit to: tmmdeathwishraven

Authoress Ramblings: First reader submitted artifact! This one's short, but these are artifact sheets, they're supposed to be.

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><p>Artifact Name: Madame de Pompadour's ring<p>

Object: ring

Age: Approx. 200 years

Origin: France (stolen from Warehouse 12)

Properties: Contains the knowledge and spirit of Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, learns from wearer.

Danger Level: Low

About : Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, Marquise de Pompadour, also known as Madame de Pompadour was a member of the French court, and was the official chief mistress of Louis XV from 1745 to her death. The ring was given to her shortly before her death, after which the ring was kept by Louis XV until his death, at which time Warehouse agents of the period added it to Warehouse 12, where it stayed until the Warehouse was moved to South Dakota (Warehouse 13). It was stolen during shipping. Jeanne can take form, much like Jack, and is aware of the times via the ring's learning ability. The ring does not have to be worn on a finger.


	8. Artifact Sheet:Vera Renczi Wedding Ring

Artifact Sheet

Authoress Ramblings: And here we have our first "evil" artifact, and our first non-sentient artifact.

Fun Fact: Spell Check tried to change my initial spelling of sentient to "Seinfeld"

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><p>Artifact Name: Vera Renczi's wedding ring<p>

Object: Cursed Ring

Age: Approx. 50 years

Origin: Romania

Properties: Makes the wearer insanely jealous and suspicious

Danger Level: High

Warnings: Emotion manipulating object, may cause wearer to attempt to murder others.

About: Vera Renczi was a Romanian serial killer of Hungarian origin who poisoned thirty-five individuals including her husbands, lovers and one son with arsenic during the 1920s and 1930s. Renczi was described as having an almost pathological desire for constant male companionship and possessing a highly jealous and suspicious nature.


	9. The Madame's Ring

Title: The Madame's Ring

Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/Warehouse 13/PoTC/Others

Random Artifact Crossover Series AU

Rating: TCharacters: Nny, Jack, Jeanne, Warehouse Gang.

Authoress Ramblings: This chapter features our newest addition to the crew, Jeanne Poisson, or Madame de Pompadour. Tmmdeathwishraven brought up a good point in that there are more guys (Pete, Artie, Steve, Jack and Nny) than girls (Claudia, Myka and Leena) so adding Jeanne doesn't quite even the score, but it's more equal. Also, it occurred to me while re-watching the new episode (3.1) that Nny's sketchbook could've worked like the Folio (it doesn't), but at the time I created the sketchbook, I didn't want it to because of a reason that will come up later (aka, it's spoiler for a future chapter). Daytona is loosely based off of me...I needed someone to stand in and none of my OCs fit. Also…NEW FORMAT EXPERIMENT FTW! I'ma go calm down and give you the chapter now…

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><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>"What is that?" Steve looked around the office.<p>

"I'm going to drop this crate on you."

Steve and Pete quickly got the crate out of the office, and Claudia was able to get to the computer.

"We got a Ping!"

* * *

><p>Cedar Rapids, Iowa<p>

* * *

><p>"So what are we looking for?"<p>

"Dunno. Reports say that a four year old girl randomly started speaking 18th century French. Mother took her to the hospital, Doctors couldn't find anything wrong."

Myka's Farnsworth squawked.

"Hey Claude."

"Artie says it sounds like Madame de Pompadour's ring. It was stolen from Warehouse 12. The only reason we'd get a Ping on it is because its stolen, its practically harmless."

"Practically implies that its not harmless."

Claudia shrugged. "Artie wouldn't say if it was or not, just that it was 'practically harmless.'"

"Even so, Jack should be able to locate it."

"Yeah, he should…but we got another Ping in the same area after you left. This one had reports of a woman murdering her husband…"

"That doesn't seem to out of the ordinary, it happens all the time."

"These two were married for 50 years. Neighbors say that she said she was going to stop his cheating ways. He'd never even looked at another woman."

"We'll keep a look out for it."

Pete, Myka and Steve exchanged looks.

"Where to now?" Steve asked.

"The mother is at work and she listed a woman named Daytona Winston as her child's emergency contact. We go talk to her."

* * *

><p>"Which apartment is it?"<p>

"F."

Myka knocked on the door. The door opened a crack.

"I don't know you. What do you want?" A blue eye peeked at them.

"We need to ask you a few questions about your friend's daughter."

"I still don't know you. Until I see some ID you're not getting in here, now hurry up or I'm calling security."

Myka and Pete flashed their Ids.

"What about him?"

Steve flashed his as well.

"Come in."

Daytona was a blonde young woman, no older than 20.

"How's Grace?"

"She'll be fine, how do you know her mother?"

"Amanda is in some of my classes. I watch Grace sometimes. Would you like anything to drink?"

Steve noticed that they'd entered the apartment into the kitchen, Daytona gestured them to the living room. The three agents indicated a negative.

"Did Grace wear jewelry?"

"A little. Her dad bought her a necklace she never takes off. She had a ring from her aunt that she just got."

"What's her aunt's name?"

"Devi, Devi Andrews."

* * *

><p>Devi Andrews had been admitted to the hospital two months prior for cancer, and had died in her sleep the night before. Grace was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital.<p>

"Grace? I'm a friend of Daytona's. I need to ask you a few questions." Myka knelt in front of the girl.

"You're lying. Mommy says it's bad to lie."

"She's right. Okay, Grace, I'm here to help you. Can you answer a few questions?"

Grace nodded.

"Where did you get the ring?"

"Aunt Devi gave it to me after she got sick…"

"Can I see it?"

Grace held out a ring on a chain.

"Is it the reason I've been sick?"

"You haven't been sick, sweetie, but yes, it's the reason."

"You can have it. Aunt Devi gave me another one. It's purple."

Myka smiled at the little girl and dropped the ring into a neutralizer bag.

"Mommy will be here soon right?"

"I'm sure she will be."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you aren't getting a reading?"<p>

"Which one of us is stuck in the bloody compass?"

Pete and Jack were beginning to get on each other's nerves.

"I managed to get another-I'm going to leave and come back." Steve exited the room as fast as he'd entered it. Pete and Jack looked ready to attempt to kill each other, Jack had yet to go back to Myka, and every time Pete used the compass Jack would refuse to cooperate unless threatened with neutralizer.

Pete's Farnsworth squawked.

"Hey Claude."

"How's it going?"

"Myka's got the ring. Jack can't seem to find the other artifact."

"Dunno what to tell you. We haven't gotten another Ping on it."

"Jinksy got the rooms renewed for a few more days, but we can head back earlier if you need us."

"We've got a handle on it here."

Pete closed the Farnsworth, and shook the compass just to spite Jack.

* * *

><p>The Warehouse (Three days later)<p>

* * *

><p>"We couldn't find the other artifact."<p>

"Not even Jack or Nny could find it."

"We got the ring though."

Artie leaned back in his chair, which gave a protesting squeak, Claudia looked up from her work.

"Speaking of the ring, it appears to be sentient." She said.

Steve caught the bag tossed at him.

"Pete has Nny's sketchbook, Myka has Jack's compass, you can have Jeanne's ring."

"Her knowledge will come in handy." Another squeak from Artie's chair protested him leaning forward again.

"I look forward to getting to know you, Steven, was it?" A soft French accented voice came from behind him. The woman standing there was beautiful, she wore a period dress, rather heavy for the South Dakota heat, but she couldn't feel it, her brown hair was pinned up and she looked rather interested in her surroundings.

"I am Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, Marquise de Pompadour."

Jack made a horrid attempt at flirting with her and was quickly rebuffed.

"I think she'll be a good match for you, Jinksy."


	10. Like Her

Title: Like Her

Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac/Warehouse 13/PoTC/Others

Random Artifact Crossover Series AU

Rating: T

Characters: Nny, Jack, Jeanne, Warehouse Gang.

Authoress Ramblings: 7/19/11: Watched "Trials" (3.2) and I totally called Jinks' revelation. Not saying just incase someone hasn't seen it yet. No huge spoilers in this one…just something I wrote just to write it…I think this will start an artifact/holder bonding thingy (Friendship bonding not the other kind…jeez…). Anyway here's some Jack/Myka friendship fluff.

7/23/11: Damn I took a long time to write this. Jack's accent comes and goes...it SHOULD be common knowledge by now that I suck at accents, and generally don't add them. As always _"This is Nny's speech"_

* * *

><p>Leena's Bed and Breakfast.<p>

* * *

><p>Myka watched herself in the mirror, running the brush through her hair. It had taken a couple treatments to get the waves out, but she'd done it. She pulled her hair out from under her collar and turned to leave the bathroom. Pausing in her bedroom to pick up her effects, her eyes fell on something she hadn't seen in a while, a book. It was one of many she'd put away. H.G. Wells' <em>The Invisible Man<em>. She could've sworn she packed it away, along with all of her other H.G. Wells books. She cast a glance at the compass sitting next to her lamp. It was entirely possible that Jack had gotten it out. She picked up the compass and slid it into it's holster on her belt, resolving to ask him about it later.

"Myka, are you okay? Your aura's unsettled."

"I'm fine."

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>"Myka, are you feeling okay?" Claudia sounded worried.<p>

"I'm fine, why?"

"It's just that…you're…"

"I'm what?"

"Nevermind, it's nothing."

Claudia ran off to do inventory. Myka shrugged it off, Claudia did things like it all the time.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Mykes. What's up?"<p>

"Not much. Finishing my report."

"Are you sure that's all?"

"Yes. Why are you asking?"

"No reason…Artie made cookies!"

Pete went to snag a plate. Myka shook her head, baffled by her partner's behavior.

* * *

><p>"Myka, you seem different."<p>

"Different how?"

"Well…more…literary."

"Literary?"

Myka walked off this time, utterly confused.

* * *

><p>"'Ello, luv."<p>

Myka smiled, even though she didn't want to. Jack had that effect.

"Hey Jack."

"What's goin on with the sudden change?"

"Sudden change?"

"Yah, ya look like that author ya like…what's 'er name…'elena?"

"Helena…you mean H.G?"

"Yah. Yer hair looks like 'ers, and ya dress like 'er."

Myka looked into a nearby mirror. She did look like H.G. Same hair, same clothes. She spun on her heel and walked away, Jack hurried to follow her.

"It's not that bad. I like it."

"I-I'm trying to forget her."

"No, luv, yer tryin to keep 'er with ya."

"You think so?"

Jack shrugged. Myka laughed. Jinks, who had just come around the corner with Jeanne, shot them an odd look and continued on.

"The car's faster." She offered as advice.

"Only one person."

"Claudia rigged it up to a couple car batteries. You'll just have to ask her to set it up for you."

Jinks nodded and left to do so, Jeanne following him.

"_Myka seems off."_ Myka heard Nny's projected voice a few aisles over, in furniture.

"She's just disturbed about something." Pete defended her, "I think I'm stuck in this chair…"

"_Idiot."_

She waved Jack to follow her, heading towards her favorite part of the Warehouse, the library.

"Can we read the book I set out earlier?"

"So you DID do it!"

"I was tryin to give ya a small hint, about what ya 've been doin."

Myka laughed.

"We can read it."

Myka could handle it. She was sure of it now.


	11. Artifact Sheet: Portrait of Dorian Gray

Artifact Sheet

Authoress Ramblings: Dorian Gray's Portrait _IS_ a canon artifact. If and when it comes into play in the series, this artifact sheet will be AU…more AU than it already is, but since it's already in the warehouse there will be no find chapter for it, (Find chapters are the chapters that are titled like The Pirate's Compass or The Madame's Ring), since Dorian doesn't like to interact with the Warehouse Agents there will be no bond chapter (Bond chapter ex: Like Her). He might have a focus chapter, but right now the plan is for him just to pop in and out causing trouble. And just FYI, Dorian looks like the LXG Movie Dorian.

Nny and Pete's bond chapter is on the way.

I _TOTALLY _own Dorian Gray. That was sarcasm in case you couldn't tell.

Edit: August 16th 2011: Fixed some wonky stuff and added some information. Dorian WILL have a set of bond chapters.

* * *

><p>Artifact Name: Dorian Gray and Portrait<p>

Object: Portrait and Person

Age: Approx. 131 years

Origin: London

Properties: Portrait keeps Dorian from aging, or taking harm.

Danger Level: High

Warning: Dorian is NOT allowed to leave the warehouse without Artie or Mrs. Fredric. Destroying the portrait is the only way to kill Dorian.

About: A portrait of Dorian Gray painted by Basil Hallward; the picture aged in Gray's stead. No matter what he did, his physical form would not change from the way it was when the portrait was painted. Destroying the painting causes the effect to immediately cease, aging Dorian rapidly (From Warehouse 13 Wiki)

Dorian has been in the warehouse since a few years after his portrait was seized. Every few years he attempts to break into the Dark Vault to check on his painting, or destroy it, Artie doesn't bother to ask anymore. He and the portrait were transferred from Warehouse 12, and witnessed the theft of Jeanne's Ring. He frequently moves furniture to create places for him to hide, and drives around the warehouse when he's bored. Being an artifact, he is not affected by other artifacts, except the Tesla, like all artifacts, he reacts to electricity. He does not react to neutralizer. Dorian tends to hide from Warehouse personnel, and only answers to Mrs. Fredric or Artie.


	12. Through The Fire

Title: Through The Fire…

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Pete, Nny

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: My lateness is inexcusable! I have bond chapters I could have posted, but I didn't! I'm so sorry! Anyways…New episodes of Warehouse 13 start streaming on Syfy in October, on the 4th…so no episode chapters until then… *Cries* I'M SO BEHIND! Send in ideas for missions and artifacts, because frankly, after this one and Jeanne and Steve…there are no more that I have in reserve! Unless I whip up some bullshit with Dorian…yes…that might work…

This is a two parter, that is SUPPOSED to be paired with an episode chapter (the chapter for 3.4: Queen For a Day )…but that ain't happening yet…

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>Pete sighed and tossed the sketchbook onto the passenger seat, followed by the small voice box.<p>

_"Where are we going?"_

Pete ignored him in favor of looking at the map, ignoring Nny's incessant asking at the same time. Myka must've been crazy suggesting this.

* * *

><p>On the road... (To hell?)<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Are we there yet?"<em>

Pete groaned and simply turned up the radio.

_'Idiot. Are we there yet?'_

"WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! NO! WE'RE NOT THERE YET! STOP ASKING EVERY TEN SECONDS!"

Nny went silent, graphic doodles sprawling across the exposed pages.

_"I want a Cherry Brain Freezy."_

"Well, there's no gas station nearby."

Nny started whining and complaining, Pete flipped the book closed and turned the voice box off.

_'Idiot'_

Pete took off the necklace, dropping it in the cup holder, reveling in the silence, before turning the radio back up. Myka had taken off on an adventure with Jack, calling it"bonding time" and had suggested that he do the same with Nny. He'd stared at her like she'd grown a second head. He laughed at the idea after Myka was out of ear shot. Now it was just him and Nny, heading out to check out something that may or may not be an artifact.

* * *

><p>A gas station, in the middle of nowhere.<p>

* * *

><p>Pete put on the necklace and was graced with one of Nny's rants. Pete cleared his throat.<p>

"You want a Brain Freezy?"

_'Yes.'_ Nny sounded like he wanted to kill him. He HATED being ignored.

Pete sighed; he'd be dealing with a pissy Nny for a while.

"You lost boy?" The cashier asked.

"No. I know where I'm going."

"If you say so. $70.50."

Pete paid and went back to the car. He flipped the voice box on and listened to Nny talk to himself. He poked a hole in the bottom of the cup and set it on the book.

"Don't get it all over."

* * *

><p>On the road again.<p>

* * *

><p>Nny was silent for about 20 miles, when out of the blue…<p>

_"Are we there yet?"_

"Don't start that again!"

_"Where are we going anyway?"_

Pete answered and Nny went silent again.

Several minutes later, Nny finally spoke.

_"That's my hometown.'_

Pete didn't quite believe that.

"You don't remember anything."

Nny didn't respond. He was silent for the rest of the trip.

* * *

><p>Nny's hometown<p>

* * *

><p>Pete pulled into a gas station, gas station clerks were excellent sources of intel, and Nny was still sulking, and the fastest way to cheer Nny up was a Brain Freezy.<p>

"These posters? They were done by a local…before he went crazy."

"Crazy?" Pete had inquired about the posters decorating the store.

"He went crazy and lost his artistic ability…he heard voices and everything!"

"What was his name?"

The clerk, a teenage girl named Brittney, pointed to the poster on the counter between them.

"He signed all of his art as NNY. He died a month ago."

"How?"

"Suicide. Single gunshot wound to the head. My dad was one of the EMTs that responded."

"Do you know the address?"

She nodded and wrote it down. Pete thanked her and pocketed the paper.

* * *

><p><em>"Why are we here?"<em> Nny sounded annoyed.

"Because I want to see this. You can stay in the car."

They were parked outside number 777.

_"I'll go."_

Pete pushed open the front door, which was falling off its hinges, blood trails led out the door from the coroner's gurney. The large pool of blood had dried, staining the old wood floor; an object was missing, made obvious by a distortion in the outline of the pool. The chalk lines were faded; no one had been here since the body had been removed. Pete felt the dark presence in the air, not unlike the one Nny gave off when he was angry.

"No one's been here."

_"Good."_

Pete held the sketchbook so Nny could see the room.

_"It looks the same as that day…"_

Pete stayed silent, exploring the house.

_"Can we go somewhere else?"_

"Sure, where do you want to go?"

_"The bookstore."_

* * *

><p>"Devi?" The teenage boy behind the counter got quiet, "Devi doesn't work here anymore."<p>

"Where can I find her?"

"The cemetery…she died a few weeks ago, after being instutionalized."

Pete nodded and thanked the kid for the information.

* * *

><p>Pete held the sketchbook, so Nny could see the gravestone.<p>

_"Devi…Devi went crazy…because of me…Devi died…shortly after I did."_

Pete remained silent, letting Nny have his moment. Lines formed images.

_"Tear out this page…leave it on the grave."_

Pete did so, catching a glimpse of the picture.

_"Let's go."_


	13. Remember

Title: Remember…

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Artie, Dorian.

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Okay…I'm NOT doing Jeanne and Steve's bonding chapter until I can get caught up…so here's some Artie and Dorian…

Each pair has AT LEAST a non-episode related chapter, and an episode related chapter, just FYI.

For those who want a list of the pairs, they are:

Jack and Myka

Nny and Pete

Jeanne and Steve

Dorian and Artie (These two have a few chapters, I like them.)

Claudia and ? (She needs someone!)

H.G and ? (We'll see how I feel about her when I catch up)

Other notes: This chapter was written whilst listening to music, like all of them, but this chapter title was influenced by a song. Remember When by Alan Jackson. (Don't own) As such, this chapter marks the first time in almost 7 years I could listen to this song without crying…and is dedicated to my step-grand aunt, because it was her favorite song.

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>Artie walked down the aisles of the Warehouse, lost in thought. It was easy to forget those who died trying to get these treasures when it was your own life at stake, but since Artie had semi-retired from fieldwork, and taken to the office, he realized what his former boss, the Agent in Charge before him, had gone through. The Warehouse had effectively killed any 'normal' life, and had left him alone for a long time. Well…as alone as one could get with Mrs. Fredric and a crazy painting. Until Pete and Myka had shown up. Artie was snapped from his thoughts by a clatter above him. Not something to be ignored, not here. He looked up to see nothing. A blur fell in front of him. A well dressed nobleman stood in front of him.<p>

"Dorian."

Dorian Gray had been in the Warehouse longer than Artie had been working there, he and his painting were transferred from Warehouse 12. Due to Dorian's portrait's ability, Dorian was unable to die, age, or be injured, but he also couldn't be bronzed. It had been attempted, and he'd had to be bronzed four times before it stuck. Artie had accidentally debronzed him.

"Arthur. You just about got attacked, you know?"

He hadn't, but leave it to Dorian to be an ass about it.

"You should check the neutralizer pipes in this area, the Sword of Cortes just attempted to kill you." Dorian held up an arm, through which a sword was skewered. Personally, Artie thought Dorian was just playing with the Artifacts again.

"What's wrong?" Dorian asked, removing a pocket watch from his pocket, checking it.

"You know well enough, Dorian."

Dorian did know, it was the anniversary of the start of Artie's career as a Warehouse agent, and of him freeing Dorian.

"How long has it been?"

"Some days, too long."

Dorian looked his friend over, gone was the young man, tired beyond his years, that had freed him, and in his place was a tired, jaded old man. He'd tell him that he needed to rest more, but his words would be shrugged off. He'd seen it happen to many good agents…most of them his friends. Gone were the days when Dorian Gray didn't need anyone. Now, he was lucky he hadn't been driven insane yet. Artie was tired, that much was clear. It wouldn't be too long before he'd have to quit fieldwork altogether. Unlike Dorian, who had all the time in the world, Artie only had a handful of years left, and no time to enjoy them. Warehouse Agents only left one of two ways, in a straightjacket or a body bag…and Artie was too strong for the former. Dorian sighed.

"You know, you should start letting Claudia take some of your workload."

Artie sighed. A few years back, Dorian had appointed himself in charge of Artie's health. He'd make appointments for him, and make him go to them. Dorian had said that he didn't want another good agent dying early, but he really didn't want his friend dying early.

"I'll think about it."

"You will."

"I'll think about it."

"You will."

Both Dorian and Artie sighed in frustration, Artie shoved his glasses back up his nose, and squinted at Dorian through them. Dorian took them and cleaned them.

"You need to take better care of yourself."

Artie snatched his glasses back and put them on again.

"Yes, mother." He sounded annoyed.

Artie looked at his friend/protector/mother bear. He'd changed from how he was portrayed in his book. He'd lost a lot of people, friends and lovers. He hadn't resisted the bronzing attempts, he'd had no one to stay around for, no one wanted a half crazed immortal for a friend then. Artie hadn't wanted him either at first, but over time, they'd become close friends. Two old souls in an even older world. Dorian had been there when Artie had to walk away from his family, and when he'd lost Carol and James, and when James had caused holy terror for the Warehouse, he'd supported his stance against H.G Wells, even though at one point Dorian had loved her, he'd been there for Artie when the working dynamics of the Warehouse were shattered by Myka's leaving. They'd been through a lot together.

"Claudia and New Guy are back."  
>"He has a name, you know."<br>"I know, but I knew a Steven in Warehouse 12…"

Artie sighed as Dorian started telling a story he'd already heard. He turned to head back to the office, leaving Dorian standing in the aisle, talking, with Cortes' Sword still in his arm…Artie turned around, and got out his gloves.

"Hold still."

Dorian wouldn't die from it, but Artie didn't like seeing his friend act like it didn't hurt. They'd been standing there for about 25 minutes after all.

They were two old, jaded, tired souls, in an even older world, but when the sky fell, they'd still be there for each other, and when Artie finally did leave the Warehouse, he'd join the others waiting for Dorian.


	14. Artifact Sheet: Sherlock Holmes's Pipe

Artifact Sheet

Authoress Ramblings: FINALLY! This is the ORIGNIAL second artifact…I've wanted to do it since "The Pirate's Compass"

THIS IS MOVIE SHERLOCK HOLMES. Like…Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes. *Faints from fangirling*

* * *

><p>Artifact Name: Sherlock Holmes' Pipe<p>

Object: Pipe

Age: Approx. 131 years

Origin: London

Properties: Gives the user superhuman intellect, an uncanny ability to solve mysteries, and an addiction to cocaine and morphine. Also contains the spirit of the detective.

Danger Level: High (Because of the addiction)

Warning: Causes Addiction

Notes: This artifact contains the spirit of Sherlock Holmes, who has the ability to manifest at will. It is said that he only emerges for those he finds worthy. The addiction can be overcome by those with enough willpower or by holding Dr. John Watson's Sword Cane.

About: Sherlock Holmes was a detective in Victorian England, along with his sidekick Dr. John Watson. Upon the death of Sherlock Holmes, the pipe fell into the possession of Dr. John Watson, and upon his death the pipe was stored in Warehouse 12. It was stolen in transit to Warehouse 13.


	15. Artifact Sheet: Dr Watson's Sword Cane

Artifact Sheet

Authoress Ramblings: THIS IS MOVIE WATSON. Like…Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes. *Faints from fangirling*

OMG! A TRIPLE UPDATE!

* * *

><p>Artifact Name: Dr. John Watson's Sword Cane<p>

Object: Sword Cane

Age: Approx. 131 years

Origin: London

Properties: Gives the holder advanced intellect (1), and writing ability, heals the sick and injured (2), and cures addiction from Sherlock Holmes' Pipe, causes the holder to walk with a slight limp after physical exertion. Also contains the spirit of Dr. John Watson.

Danger Level: Medium

Notes: This artifact contains the spirit of Dr. John Watson, who has the ability to manifest at will.

(1): Not as high as Sherlock Holmes' Pipe

(2): Actually heals, unlike Mary Mallon's Knife, which transferred illness and injury.

About: Dr. John Watson was a doctor in Victorian England, and solved crimes along with his friend Sherlock Holmes. Upon the death of Dr. John Watson, his cane was stored in Warehouse 12. It was stolen in transit to Warehouse 13.


	16. Gone

Title: Gone

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Artie, Pete, Steve, Myka, Jack, Nny, Jeanne, Dorian, (Leena Cameo)

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings:I FINALLY SAW POTC 4! I got this random idea whilst angsting…enjoy.

Music To Write by: Clay Aiken (I like his music okay!)

_'Nny Speech'_

* * *

><p>Myka's Room, a Hotel<p>

* * *

><p>Myka was dead tired, and upon returning to her hotel room, she collapsed onto the bed, depositing Jack's compass on the table. She never noticed the figure entering the room from the balcony, and any protest Jack could make was cut off by the compass being dropped into a bag, apparently lined with neutralizer. The figure was in and out in a flash, and Myka was none the wiser.<p>

* * *

><p>Pete's Car, Outside the Hotel<p>

* * *

><p>Nny seethed. Pete had forgotten him in the car, again. This was a common occurrence, but it still annoyed Nny to no end, it was close to being ignored or abandoned. The voice box was off, so he couldn't make noise to attract attention. Nny paced across the page, kicking up tiny swirls of ink as he went. He wasn't so preoccupied that he didn't notice the person with a baseball bat break the car window and snatch the book before Pete could react to the car alarms. For someone trained to react quickly, Pete was remarkably slow when waking up.<p>

_'Pete…NOW WOU—'_

* * *

><p>Leena's Bed and Breakfast<p>

* * *

><p>Steve and Artie were working on different things across the dining room table from each other (1), and not really paying attention to the other person in the room. He was a business man whose car had broken down. There was no mechanic in Univille at the moment, so Claudia had offered to fix the car. After several moments he agreed. No one noticed him slip upstairs.<p>

* * *

><p>Jinks' Room<p>

* * *

><p>Sitting in a ring box on the nightstand was the ring that belonged to Madame de Pompadour. She was sitting in a chair near the window, reading, when she noticed the person who wasn't supposed to be there.<p>

"Who, pray tell, are you?"

The man ignored her, and simply dropped her ring into a bag.

"HEL-"

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian froze, sudden panic gripping him. Something was endangering his painting.<p>

From his spot atop a shelf (2) in the Farnsworth aisle, he could see the Dark Vault; he took off towards it, dodging several artifacts that would see him splatter on the Warehouse floor, and vaulting several gaps in the shelves. He dropped to the floor in front of the Dark Vault, and looked around. He was able to break into the Dark Vault without tripping the alarm, the containment alarm for his painting; however, was a different story. He entered and headed for his painting, drawing his sword.

"Stop right there Mr. Gray."

Dorian suddenly had the feeling of a blade to his neck, he stopped.

"What do you want?" he growled at the man holding a knife to the throat of his portrait.

"Come quietly, or you will be killed."

Dorian sheathed his sword and raised his hands.

* * *

><p>Leena's Bed and Breakfast<p>

* * *

><p>An alarm on Artie's Farnsworth went off.<p>

"That's a Dark Vault alarm, isn't it?" Leena asked.

Artie nodded, and Steve came down the stairs.

"Jeanne's ring is gone!"

Artie's Farnsworth squawked. He opened it to find Pete and Myka.

They spoke at the same time.

"Jack's been stolen!"

"Nny's gone!"

Artie's mind raced. It was entirely possible that Dorian had set the alarm off again.

"Let me check on the Warehouse and I'll call you back." Artie was already reaching for his keys. Leena looked worried.

"If they've been taken, what about Dorian?"

"That's what I'm afraid of."

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>Artie raced down the aisles towards the Dark Vault. He hoped it was just Dorian, but he had his doubts. Both the Dark Vault perimeter alarm (3) and a containment alarm had been tripped. The gate to the Vault was ajar. Artie entered and made his way to where his friend's portrait was supposed to be. His heart sank. It was gone, and likely Dorian was in danger.<p>

* * *

><p>Somewhere<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian groaned and opened his eyes, even as an artifact he was still susceptible to chloroform, which, given that his body was immune to most other things, disturbed him. He was pissed, he'd been threatened, manhandled, and knocked out, and on top of that, he had no clue where his painting was. Nny's sketchbook was in front of his face, propped up on something. The tiny figure of the maniac peered at him.<p>

_'They got you too?'_

Dorian made a 'no duh' noise, not trusting that if he spoke, he wouldn't throw up.

_'Do you have a Farnsworth?'_

"No…I never leave the Warehouse."

Nny's shoulders slumped.

_'We're doomed.'_

Dorian ignored him and attempted to sit up.

_'You shouldn't do that...' (3)_

"Oh shut up." (4) Dorian had managed to sit up, and now had his head between his knees, trying not to puke.

"Where are Jack and Jeanne?"

_'Who do you think is holding me up? Jeanne never made it here…I haven't seen her.'_

Dorian heard a wooden creak and the sketchbook was raised up as Jack materialized nearby.

"I feel like I've gone ten rounds with Jones' beastie."

Dorian lurched sideways, and was sick.

_'Weren't you worried about Jeanne?'_

Dorian nodded between bouts of being sick.

"We gotta find 'er first."

_'Duh.'_

"It doesn't take a *hurk* genius to *ulp* figure that out."

Dorian regained his feet and leaned on his cane. He tucked his handkerchief back into his pocket.

_'Can't the pirate find her?'_

"Can't the psycho find her?"

_'If I could kill you I would.'_

"You wish!"

"CHILDREN, PLEASE! We need to, god forbid, work together to get out of here."

* * *

><p>More Rambling:<p>

I'm opening an "Ask A Character" to help me evolve them more, and to let you guys know more about them! You can ask any of the sentient artifacts anything! And, no, this does not violate site rules, because you'll get a response via review reply.

And now for the footnotes…in the form of questions:

(1)-Why are they working at Leena's?: I needed them both out of the Warehouse and preoccupied.

(2)- Why is Dorian on top of the shelves?: He likes it there.

(3)-Why is Nny addressing Dorian politely-ish?: Dorian was mean to him…and threatened to do something.

(4)- Why can Dorian understand Nny without the necklace or voice box?: Because he's just that good…all sentient artifacts can hear Nny.


	17. Annoy

Title: Annoy

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Jack, Nny, Jeanne, Dorian

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: I'm opening an "Ask a Character" to help me evolve them more, and to let you guys know more about them! You can ask any of the sentient artifacts anything! And, no, this does not violate site rules, because you'll get a response via review reply. And apparently I was feeling sarcastic last chapter, so here are the answers to two of the footnote questions without the smartass-ery…

Why is Dorian on top of the shelves? : It's easier for him to navigate up there, plus he doesn't have to go through the maze of aisles when his painting 'calls' to him or when random artifacts attack Artie.

Why is Nny addressing Dorian politely-ish? : Dorian threatened to burn the book.

Also…my Dorian has been, for lack of a better word, 'nice' so far, but it's mentioned in "Remember" that he's mellowed out some…remember that.

* * *

><p>Somewhere (15 minutes after the end of the last chapter)<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian groaned, pausing in picking the lock on the door to rub his temples. His nausea had gone away, leaving a vicious headache, one that Jack and Nny weren't helping by arguing…over religion of all things. Jack was carrying an old beat up backpack Dorian had found while searching for Jeanne, Dorian refused to carry it since it smelled. It held Nny's sketchbook, and Jack's compass was dangling off the side of it.<p>

"I'm tellin ya, tha's NOT what the missionary said." (1)

_'Well, I've been to both Heaven AND Hell…I didn't like either one.'_

Dorian's fingers tightened on his lock pick. His headache was annoying him, and his companions' voices irritated him.

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!" Dorian screeched, eyes flashing hellfire.

Jack looked rather frightened, and Nny fell silent. Dorian turned back to the lock and opened the door, pocketing the pick and collecting his cane before exiting the room, Jack following hurriedly. The group walked in silence for a long while, Dorian had refused early on to pick every lock, therefore they would just pick doors that Jack felt artifacts behind.

_'Is the book true?'_

Jack had looked confused, but Dorian froze.

"What book?"

_'In high school we read a book called "The Picture of Dorian Gray." Is it true?'_

Dorian remained silent, but continued walking.

"Well, is it?"

Dorian ignored them.

"Uh…Gray? We need in here." Jack had stopped and pointed to a door. Dorian sighed and got to work. Working much faster this time he had the door open soon and entered the room.

"Oh! Monsieur Gray! Monsieur Sparrow! Over here!" (2) Jeanne was trapped behind a rather large mirror, her skirt pinned by a sword. (3) Dorian picked up her ring and removed the sword, she returned to the ring. The ring was added to the bag, and Jeanne rematerialized next to Jack.

"Thank you for rescuing me."

_'We should go now. We have Jeanne.'_

"We still need Monsieur Gray's portrait."

Dorian wanted to kiss her. She seemed to be the only one who could see that he was on edge about it. The group went back into the hall and continued on, passing doors that Dorian didn't feel his painting behind.

"Gray, there are two artifacts behind this door."

Dorian growled and unlocked the door, ducking as a cane flew at his face.

"Dr. Watson…a pleasure to see you again." Sarcasm dripped from Dorian's words.

The man in the doorway was a middle aged, and sported a mustache. He dressed similar to Dorian, they were from the same time period, but it was obvious that they were of different social classes.

"Dorian Gray…what brings you here?"

Dorian turned to leave.

"We're leaving him."

"What about the other artifact?" Jeanne never failed to make Dorian guilty.

A clatter sounded from in the room.

"Watson! What's going on?"

Dorian groaned. Sherlock Holmes…just what he needed.

"We're leaving." Dorian snapped, walking away. Jack hurried after him, and Jeanne followed when it became apparent that Dorian would leave her behind.

"Wait! Could we, perhaps, go with you? Just until we get out?"

Dorian was vehemently opposed to the idea.

"Of course!"

Dorian wanted to snap her neck. It would be easy too…he'd done it before. Dorian shook his head, clearing the homicidal thoughts. They _needed_ to find his painting before he went crazy with stress. As it was, he was the most vulnerable of the group, whoever had his painting could kill him and there'd be nothing he could do about it. He ignored the exchange going on behind him, which consisted of introductions and adding another artifact to the old backpack. His portrait was nearby, it called to him, but it wasn't close.

"Let's move."

"Someone's cranky."

"Shut it."

* * *

><p>Footnotes:<p>

(1): POTC 4.

(2): OMG! SHE'S SPEAKING FRENCH!

(3): It's keeping her from returning to the ring.


	18. Pain AKA TheBeatTheShitOutofDorianChap

Title: Pain

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Jack, Jeanne, Dorian, Watson, Holmes, and a talking cat.

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Here…have some Dorian in pain.

Edit: Aug. 26th 2011 Fixed a broken sentance

* * *

><p>Somewhere (Minutes after the end of the last chapter)<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian froze, prompting the others to do so as well.<p>

"Who has weapons?" Dorian asked, turning around to see the answer.

Three (1)…including him that was four…They were probably period, so the only _efficient_ weapons they had were swords…and even that was a big gamble in Jack's case, who's weapons hadn't been the best back in his day. Dorian took a knife out of his jacket and gave it to Jeanne.

"Just in case."

If Dorian didn't have to get the others back to the Warehouse, he would have just plowed through whatever enemy awaited them, but then Artie would bitch at him.

Suddenly, the lights flickered. When they came back on, they were surrounded.

* * *

><p>Dorian groaned, his headache back in full force, the bright fluorescent lighting wasn't helping. He could hear Jack and Jeanne talking, Jeanne sounded upset, as well as Watson and Holmes. He decided to close his eyes again. Within moments he was asleep.<p>

* * *

><p>London-1880<p>

* * *

><p>Footsteps pounded on the floor above, shaking dust onto the two in the basement. The woman held in the man's grip looked terrified. He glared at her as she bit him. His hand slipped and she screamed, he silenced her by slitting her throat. The footsteps were racing down the stairs, he took off for the back door, barely getting out before the police, led by that arrogant detective, entered the basement. He could be back to his house before anyone noticed him.<p>

"Halt!" The shout was accompanied by a shot…straight through his back.

There went that idea…he turned, dead set on killing the one who discovered his secret.

"Sherlock Holmes."

"Dorian Gray…so the rumors are true."

"A gentleman never confirms a rumor."

"If the rumors are true, then you are no gentleman."

Dorian tsked and turned to run.

"I'd save your bullets if I were you _Detective_. There are much more pressing dangers than I."

At that moment a small group of thugs entered the alley and Dorian made his exit, ascending to the rooftops (2).

"I'll catch you, Gray! Mark my words!"

* * *

><p>"Augh!" Dorian was awoken by a swift kick to the ribs, he felt them break, and one pierced his lung, he coughed, it was followed by a foot to his breastbone, which made him spit up blood. It wouldn't kill him, but it wouldn't heal for a while yet. It was an effective way to limit his usefulness. Dorian heard footsteps leave the room.<p>

"Gray!"

Dorian struggled to his feet, holding his ribs.

"You sound so concerned, Jack."

He peeled away his jacket, revealing the extent of the damage. The entire room gasped.

Dorian's ribcage was mangled, if he'd been anything less than immortal, he wouldn't have survived, as it was, he was sure he shouldn't move, even being immortal, his ribs were broken, moving strangely when he breathed (3), both of his lungs were punctured, his breaths came in wet rattles, and he didn't have the energy to remain standing.

"Did…*gasp* any*gasp*one…*wheeze* hear *wheeze, cough* what *cough* they want?"

"They want to sell us…but they want you to get to Artie…"

Dorian closed his eyes.

"YOU! You're a doctor! You have to help him!" Jeanne's voice was shaking, Dorian couldn't understand why. He was a murderer, he deserved this.

"Holmes…We have to help him."

"He's a murderer!"

"_I_ have to help him." (4)

"Where *wheeze* is *cough* Nny?"

Dorian had effectively changed the topic away from himself.

"We don't know…now, Dr. Watson, are you going to help him?"

Or not.

"I'll try."

"I'm *cough* already *hack* healing *cough, hack, hack, wheeze*." Blood dotted Dorian's white handkerchief. He kept his eyes on the doctor until the rolled back in his head and he passed out.

* * *

><p>Footnotes:<p>

(1): Jack (Pistol and Sword), Holmes (Revolver), Watson (Revolver and Sword)

(2): More Dorian in high places! He does have a fondness for them.

(3): Flail Chest-It occurs when several ribs break (next to each other) and detach from the chest wall

(4):Watson, under the Hippocratic Oath, DOES have to help Dorian.


	19. Redemption

Title: Redemption

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Jack, Jeanne, Nny, Dorian, Watson, Artie, Pete, Myka, Steve, and a Leena cameo.

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings:There is MUCH more to what happened than is here, and Dorian will get a side story elsewhere for his adventures. There is ALSO a list of 25 random things about Dorian that I can post for you all to pick what stories I write for that, a good chunk of it ended up in here though.

This is the end of _**DORIAN'S ARC. **_Not the story. After this it's back to the random oneshots until I decide on another plot.

* * *

><p>Somewhere (an hour after the end of the last chapter)<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian was sleeping, as soon as his wounds were starting to heal he was kicked and stepped on, re-breaking bones. Watson was sitting next to him, bandaging what he could. They were using Jeanne's outer skirt for bandages.<p>

"This isn't blood…its…paint?"

"Paint?"

The group was startled by a series of snaps and a loud gasp (1) from Dorian, who had woken up. He coughed up more blood, and this time, Watson noticed the blood turn to paint as it left Dorian's lips.

"Interesting…"

Dorian stood, and leaned heavily on his cane.

"We need to go…"

Holmes had the door unlocked and Jeanne helped Dorian out the door.

"I can walk…"

* * *

><p>Down the hall-15 minutes later<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian was only standing through sheer force of will, his sword felt heavier than ever. He was backed into a corner. His ribs weren't healed yet, he needed some down time to let his ribs reset (2). He lashed out at his attacker, gaining another broken rib when his attacker retaliated with an elbow to the ribs. A gunshot rang out, causing everyone to duck. Jack stood in the middle of the room, pistol smoking. A man with a knife ran at him and the action started again. Dorian dispatched his attacker and looked at Jack's. The man was tall and thin, he reminded him of Basil, he spotted a sketchbook in the man's back pocket, he was an artist…maybe that was why…<p>

"SPARROW! HE'S GOT NNY'S BOOK!"

Jack blocked the knife with his sword, the gleam in the man's eyes did look familiar.

"Here's Johnny! (3)" The man's voice was the same as Nny's.

Jack rolled his eyes and swung at him.

"Get outta my face!"

The lights went out, and immediately Dorian went on the defensive. A yelp, a thud and a cry of pain, then the lights turned on.

_'Can we go home yet?'_

Nny was back to normal, Jeanne picked up the book, Jack had collected their bag, Watson was looking around, worriedly.

"Where's the detective?" Jack asked.

"I…I don't know."

Dorian had made his way across the room, to his painting. He turned back to his companions, looking them over.

"None of us are strong enough to carry it right now…"

He stood there, engaged in a mental debate, for several minutes.

"Let's go…it's over, we can leave."

"But, your painting…"

"Leave it…I'll come back for it."

They all knew that he may not have the chance, with the way their luck had been. The beaten and battered group made their way out, lead by Jack, Dorian fell behind.

"Keep up, Gray!"

"Oh, shut it! I'm injured!"

* * *

><p>Outside<p>

* * *

><p>The black SUV stopped outside of the abandoned storage warehouse.<p>

"This is the last place they could be."

"They're here, I can feel it."

"For their sake, I hope you're right, Pete."

"LOOK!" Claudia pointed to the door, where Jack and Jeanne had exited the building.

"JACK!"

"JEANNE!"

Myka and Steve made a dash for their friends.

'_What am I? Chopped Liver?'_

Pete started, then broke out into a grin, before following Myka and Steve. Artie watched, waiting for Dorian to appear. Jack and Jeanne stepped to the side and Dorian was revealed, leaning heavily on his cane, vomiting blood into the sand, another figure was helping him stay upright.

"Dorian?"

"Arthur." Dorian looked up, and smiled weakly at him before falling over unconscious.

* * *

><p>Leena's Bed and Breakfast-2 days later<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian's breathing was much easier, and he didn't feel like death warmed over. He sat up, without pain, he noted. He looked around, he realized he had no clue where he was. There was a set of clothes and a note on the dresser. The clothes, he noticed where from his stuff at the Warehouse.<p>

_Dorian,_

_When you feel up to it, come downstairs._

_ Artie._

"That was maddeningly unhelpful."

He got dressed and headed downstairs. Artie and the others were sitting around a table.

"Hey, look who's up!"

Dorian looked at them, they appeared to be genuinely concerned.

"Take a seat." Leena pulled in a chair for him.

"Thank you."

Silence reigned for several minutes, before Artie handed Dorian a key.

"We recovered your painting. That key goes to the box we stored it in."

"Thank you…"

"I've had several meetings with the Reagents, and they've come to a conclusion."

"To what?"

"Based on your actions, they have decided that you can leave the Warehouse without supervision."

Dorian was floored. Artie passed him a Farnsworth.

"They said that the Warehouse could use a lawyer."

"A lawyer?" Myka sounded confused.

"I've passed the South Dakota State Bar Exam…" Dorian slid the Farnsworth in his pocket.

"You have access to your funds from before you were brought to the Warehouse. Any ideas on what you'll do now?"

"I think I'll take the Reagents up on their offer, and be the lawyer for the Warehouse. What happened to Dr. Watson? "

"The cane is in the Warehouse, it seems like the spirit is upset."

Dorian picked up the paper and began to read it. He could tell he'd like this arrangement.

* * *

><p>Footnotes:<p>

(1): Dorian's ribs are removing themselves from his lungs

(2): Dorian has Flail Chest, his ribs are moving independently of his ribcage, he needs to stop moving and getting beat up to give them time to heal.

(3): I couldn't resist. I don't own "The Shining." Hell I haven't even seen it.


	20. AU! Death

Title: AU! Death

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Artie, Dorian, Jack, Myka, Nny, Pete, Claudia

Rating: T

**WARNINGS: CHARACTER DEATH**

Authoress Ramblings: I'm not able to write Steve OR Jeanne at the moment…so for the sake of the angst in this chapter, they're elsewhere, they're in the end though. Also: This series is technically AU while conforming to canon…what do you think of it being AU-AU, as in some episodes didn't happen AU? *cough40thFloorcough* I (still) haven't seen season 3, but I check the wiki for updates to the characters, and for Steve it doesn't look good for his continued existence here in RAXS. Although Pete and his mom have some potential... Also: For the Dorian fans, Dorian will have a fic, called The Portrait of Freedom (crappy title, I know), and if you click on the homepage link on my profile, it'll take you to my deviantART (if it doesn't I'm Bl00dstain3dT3ars, and let me know the link doesn't work) where there is a list of random RAXS-verse facts about Dorian, let me know which ones you guys are interested in.

_**THIS CHAPTER IS AU! EVEN IN RAXS AU!**_ Angst helps my writer's block apparently. It also takes place during TPOF…sometime.

_"NOT NNY"_

In RAXS-verse (at least) Univille is within commuting distance of Rapid City. (At the tail end of commuting distance, so it's still pretty far)

* * *

><p>Rapid City-Dorian's Apartment<p>

* * *

><p>The atmosphere in the library was tense, and most of the people in the room were tense and upset. The only one who wasn't tense was Nny, he just wasn't capable of it. He was upset, and his book was smoking slightly because of it. Dorian sat in his chair, with his head in his hands, Claudia's head on his thigh. Pete was sullenly playing with a cookie, picking it up and lightly dropping it. Myka had opened a book, reading it quietly to Jack, and Claudia was next to Dorian, her head on his leg. The silence was broken by a cell phone ringing, causing them all to jump.<p>

"Hello?" Dorian was on the phone with ninja like speed, "Hey, sweetie. No; no news yet."

It was Dorian's girlfriend, and Claudia's hopeful look fell. He hung up, and his expression fell.

* * *

><p>Five hours ago, Univille-Dorian's House (1)<p>

* * *

><p>"Arthur, are you alright?"<p>

"Artie, you don't look so good."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look-" Pete's words were cut off by Artie collapsing onto Dorian's hardwood floor.

"ARTHUR!"

"ARTIE!" Claudia's shriek was almost earsplitting.

Myka ran for the phone.

"What's happening?" Pete sounded mildly scared, he'd had a bad vibe all day.

"He's having a heart attack. Claudia, go get the aspirin from the medicine cabinet. Peter, go get a glass of water."

_"911. What's your emergency?"_

It took five minutes for the ambulance to get to Dorian's.

"Guys, can I ride with him?"

"Of course, Claude."

Claudia had followed the paramedics to the ambulance.

"Family On-" Dorian could see the panic crash across Claudia's features.  
>"She's his daughter." Dorian's calm voice broke through Claudia's panicked haze, and she shot him a grateful look, and Dorian could've sworn he saw Artie smile-faintly, through the pain.<p>

"Come on then."

Claudia hugged Dorian quickly and climbed into the ambulance next to Artie.

* * *

><p>Rapid City Hospital<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian growled at the paperwork in his hand, past history forms for Artie. The job had fallen to him because he'd known Artie the longest, and in the paper trail the Warehouse had created for Dorian, he was Artie's son. He turned the paperwork over, satisfied with it.<p>

Hours passed, Claudia had joined them quickly enough, and was in Dorian's lap, asleep, having worn herself out crying. Dorian had called his girlfriend, letting her know what had happened, and that he wouldn't be able to make their date. Myka came back with bad coffee.

"They'll call when they have news, we could go get a hotel and rest."

"No need. I have a place here in the city."

* * *

><p>Present time<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian's phone rang, startling them all again.<p>

"Hello? This is he. We'll be there." Dorian hung up the phone.

"Guys, I have a bad vibe."

"So do I, Peter, so do I."

Dorian was glad that they'd come in his SUV, they wouldn't all fit in his sports car. Dorian's apartment was downtown, close to his office, and with the traffic, it took them some time to get to the hospital. Artie's doctor was waiting for them, and asked just for Dorian and Claudia to follow him. They were led down a hall.

"I'm sorry, but your father passed away."

Claudia's grip on Dorian tightened, and he held her close. They made their way back to Pete and Myka. Pete took one look at Claudia and instantly knew what had happened, and Myka wasn't far behind. She gasped and Pete held her. Nny and Jack had been left in the car, but Nny had picked up on Pete's emotional turmoil, and both psychopath and pirate were mourning alongside their human friends.

* * *

><p>Univille Cemetary-3 weeks later<p>

* * *

><p>A small gathering of thirteen people stood around a grave. Dorian, Claudia, Pete, Myka, Jack, Jeanne, Steve, Leena, Dr. Vanessa Calder, Hugo Miller, Mrs. Fredric, a Reagent, and the preacher were all standing in silence in the rain for a prayer. Dorian held Claudia as she cried into his very expensive jacket. One didn't need Leena to tell them that the auras of the group were dimmed in sadness. Dorian had steadily gotten more and more violent, and prone to random acts of violence. Claudia had been shut in her room, crying, only letting Dorian in. Myka had immersed herself in Dorian's library. Pete had stopped talking. Jack and Nny refused to communicate, and Steve and Jeanne were lost about how to help their friends. It would be a LONG time before everything found its new normal. Myka was acting Agent in Charge, a position that Claudia was much more qualified for, but refused to do.<p>

"Should we have told his family?"

"We were his family…his other family already thinks he's dead."

"It's sad to see such a great man remembered by so few."

Dorian would carry Artie's memory into the future, but right now he was willing to trade that future to get Artie back. He was willing to trade every future second of immortality for his friend. It had been a long time since he felt that. He'd known Artie would die and he would live on, but he never wanted it. Without Artie, the Warehouse was close to doomed. If Claudia, Pete and Myka couldn't get their acts together, Mrs. Fredric would have no choice but to hire new agents, and force Hugo back, and hope against hope that her successor would recover. It was foolish of her to think that they could go back to work like they used to, and recover from this at the same time. Dorian couldn't help but glare at the Warehouse Caretaker like this was her fault (she had the grace to at least pretend to flinch), nor could he help but feel _he_ should be the one in the coffin. He turned his attention back to what the preacher was saying.

The group dispersed, leaving Dorian, Claudia, Pete, Myka, Jack and Leena. (2)

"So what do we do now?"

"We do what Artie would want us to do."

"Snag 'em, bag 'em, tag 'em."

The small group turned away from Artie's grave to let the rest pay their respects, and headed for the cars.

Dorian and Claudia turned around.

"Goodbye, Arthur."

"Bye, Artie."

* * *

><p>(1)-Dorian has two places<p>

(2)-I didn't feel that Steve and Jeanne had a place with them at that moment.


	21. Love Sick Tag

Title: Love Sick

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Love Sick. I UPDATED! I REEEEEEEEEEALY don't like this chapter. I had to beat it into submission and FAILED.

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>"She chose you?" Dorian asked his partner as he walked into the office.<p>

"Yeah. Hugo thought I was gay though."

Dorian started laughing, but the subject was dropped between the two of them. The two never discussed relationships, not since Dorian had made a huge mistake, he was quite sure Artie hadn't forgiven him.

"Don't you have somewhere to be? A date perhaps?"

"Marianne had to cancel, the sitter canceled on her." Dorian answered between laughs.

Artie glared at Dorian from in front of his computer, when Steve and Jeanne came in, followed by Pete and Myka, Jack making a hasty retreat into the compass.

"Why is Dorian dying laughing on the floor?" Steve asked, Artie turned to look at them.

"Myka, why are you-Marilyn Monroe's Hairbrush…Myka, you know better than to play with Artifacts."

"That's not al-" Pete quickly silenced Steve.

"There was an accident during target practice, Pete knocked over W.C Fields' Juggling Balls…"

"You both caught one."

Pete and Myka both nodded.

"So where were you during all of this?" Artie pinned Steve with a look.

"Cleaning up after our dear drunk friends." Jack said, making a timely appearance, draped over Steve. He brushed the pirate off.

"Pete and Myka decided that it would be funny to br-"

"Brush his hair! With Marilyn Monroe's Hairbrush." Pete finished.

"He outran us." Myka supplied.

The agents left, Steve being dragged.

"That was odd."

"They were lying."

"How do you know?"

"I'm a lawyer, I'm supposed to know."

* * *

><p>Two days later<p>

* * *

><p>Artie parked his car in the driveway of a white three story farmhouse on the outskirts of Univille. Two kids, an older boy and a younger girl, were playing in the fenced in yard. That meant Marianne was over, and Artie wouldn't get Dorian away.<p>

"Arthur! I wasn't expecting you today. Come in."

The house was tastefully, but expensively decorated, Marianne was certainly out of place in it. Marianne Hadley was an attractive 29 year old, short black hair, green eyes, working mom. Not Dorian's usual flavor, but Artie supposed that even Dorian got bored of the same type of women.

"What brings you here?"

"I'm leaving for Atlanta."

"Am I to assume you'll be seeing Dr. Caulder?"

"If I have time."

"Wait here." Dorian went upstairs, apparently into his office.

Marianne was in the kitchen now.

"How did you and Dorian meet?"

"I'm a bartender, he came into the bar."

Dorian entered the room and handed Artie two cards.

"Reservations under Neilson, party of two, at both of them, call me and I'll cancel the one you don't use, and don't worry about the costs."

Artie opened his mouth to thank the aristocrat, when he was shooed out.

* * *

><p>Atlanta, Georgia<p>

* * *

><p>Artie stood in front of Vanessa's front door, nervous. He smiled when she opened the door.<p>

"Hey, Vanessa."

"Hello, Artie."

She smiled, and took Artie's arm and let him lead her to the car.

* * *

><p>Authoress Ramblings: This may or may not be continued…Dates are on my list of things I can't write along with smut, weddings, fights, and funerals.<p> 


	22. And The Flames

Title: And The Flames

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Pete, Nny

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Queen for a Day. This is paired with chapter 12 "Through The Fire"

Hints of Pyka. I really hate Nny in this chapter…he's not nearly psychotic enough…

* * *

><p>Somewhere outside the Warehouse (after Amanda leaves)<p>

* * *

><p>Pete sat in the car with his head on the steering wheel.<p>

_"You were married?"_

"Nny, shut up."

_"Why didn't you tell us?"_

"I said shut up!"

_"Myka and I are your partners. Didn't we deserve to know?"_

In a brief fit of anger, Pete turned off Nny's voice box and chucked it into the back seat.

_'Getting mad at me won't help.'_

"Will you stop it?"

A drawing of Myka appeared on the page.

_'Don't you trust us Pete?'_ Nny's voice changed to Myka's.

Pete hit his head against the steering wheel.

"Why can't you accept that I don't want to tell you about my past?"

_'I accept that, but I don't like it.'_

Pete sighed.

"Have you ever thought you made a huge mistake?"

Pete's Farnsworth went off, Artie was calling.

_'We should get back.'_

* * *

><p>After the episode<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Is this about Kelly?"<em>

Pete froze. Was this about losing Kelly? Losing Amanda? He'd had two amazing women, and he'd lost both of them.

_"There's always Claudia."_

"EW! SHE'S LIKE MY SISTER!"

_"There's always Myka."_

Pete's head hit the steering wheel.

"_She's saved your life."  
><em>

"She's my partner!"

Again…

_"She knows about the Warehouse."_

"She's my partner!"

And again…

_ "She knows about the drinking."_

"She's my partner!"

And again…

_ "You love her."_

And aga-freeze. Realization.

"I do."

_"Then what's the problem?"_

"She's. my. PARTNER."

Pete's head hit the steering wheel after every word.

_"So?"_

"She said herself that she didn't like me like that."

_"You told her the same thing, but you were lying."_

"Don't pull a Jinksy. I have a headache."

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>"Myka…I need to tell you something."<p>

"What is it, Pete?"

"When I said I don't like you as more than I friend…"

"Yeah?"

"I lied." Pete said quickly, before kissing her quickly and leaving.

Myka stood in the doorway, stunned.


	23. Past and Present

Title: Past and Present

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: H.G. , Dorian

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to 3…2…1. SHORT. HOLY MEATBALLS! MULTIPLE UPDATES

* * *

><p>Warehouse 12-1893<p>

* * *

><p>"Helena, my darling. Distress does not become you."<p>

"Mr. Gray, aren't you due to be bronzed?"

"Aren't you?"

Helena sighed.

"I chose to be."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"So do I, Dorian, so do I."

"No matter how long you try, Christina will not be coming back."

Helena stood up and slapped him.

"You're a bastard, Dorian Gray. This is a place of endless wonder. How dare you tell me nothing will bring my Christina back!"

* * *

><p>Warehouse 13-2011<p>

* * *

><p>"Helena."<p>

"Dorian."

They looked over each other.

"You look well, Dorian."

"I'd say the same, but you're a hologram."

Helena smiled softly as Artie turned the projection sphere off and she faded away. Dorian watched her fade.

They were both trapped, trapped in another Warehouse, in another prison, in another country, in another time.


	24. Reality

Title: Reality

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Claudia, Artie, Pete, Myka

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Don't Hate The Player. Parental Artie/Claudia, actual Pyka. SHORT. Steve and Jeanne are SUPPOSED to have a chapter BTW, but I think they just don't click.

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>Artie was just entering the office when Myka, Pete and Claudia entered, or rather, Claudia tackled him from across the office, hiding her face in his chest, crying. Artie looked at the other two, who gave him concerned looks. He looked down at Claudia, who was clinging to him like he was going to disappear.<p>

"Tell me you're real. That you're not going anywhere.

"I'm right here, I'm real, and I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

><p>"Pete, can I talk to you?"<p>

Pete turned to look at Myka, a cookie hanging out of his mouth.

"Sure, Myks."

Myka smiled.

"I lied too."

She kissed Pete, and stole his cookie, before turning to walk away.

* * *

><p>Artie and Claudia were on the couch that was hidden under papers, Claudia curled into his side, having finally cried herself to sleep.<p>

"Artie?" Pete attempted to get his boss's attention.

"What, Pete?"

"I'd avoid rhyming for the next few days, if I were you, and trim your eyebrows."

"What?"

"Don't. Ask."

Artie shrugged, and then turned to Claudia, who had woken up, screaming.

* * *

><p>"Seriously? Rhyming Artie? I missed Artie rhyming?"<p>

"Sorry Jinksy."

"The psycho and I were there and-

_"We missed it as well, it seemed amusing." _Nny's statement was off with his picture of Jack hanging from the warehouse ceiling by his ankle, missing his head.

"Arthur doesn't seem to be the type to rhyme." Jeanne said (1).

"Dorian would have flipped."

"Where _is_ Dorian?"

"Date."

* * *

><p>"Arthur doesn't rhyme. I seriously think he's incapable of it. The eyebrows I can believe, he's always had those." Dorian stood with his arms crossed, and an eyebrow raised (2).<p>

"He did in the game."

"It was just a game."

* * *

><p>Foot notes:<p>

(1): OMG! Rare Jeanne appearence

(2): OMG! Dorian CAMEO. Where ever Artie is, Dorian usually is, and demanding I write him.

* * *

><p>Sneak Peek of a future chapter:<p>

"He wanted you to have this."

Claudia looked Adwin Kosan in the eye as he handed her a black box. Opening it, and looking inside, Claudia's heart broke all over again.


	25. Future Uncertain

Title: Future Uncertain

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Pete, Myka, Artie, Dorian, Trai.

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Past Imperfect. Est. Pyka.

* * *

><p>Denver, Colorado<p>

* * *

><p>"No…" Myka's voice was soft, and she reached for Pete, and cried into his chest.<p>

He held her while she cried.

"It's over, Myks. It's over, you got him."

"Why would Jim do this?"

"I don't know, Myks, I really don't know."

(Line goes here)

Pete led her out after the FBI was done talking to her, and she was done talking to Allison.

"I feel empty."

"You've been chasing this guy for three years, Myka; it's going to be draining now that it's over."

"I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it."

"You want to stop by your parents'?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>Univille, South Dakota<p>

* * *

><p>Dorian was startled out of his reading by a barking dog. He got up to answer the door.<p>

"Arthur, why is there a dog on my porch?"

"Long story. Do you have anything I can use as a temporary collar?"

"No…" Dorian said, "What's the dog's name anyway?"

"Trai, short for Trailer."

Trai barked at Dorian before drooling on his shoe.

"Lovely."

* * *

><p>"Pete, I can't do this…not again."<p>

"Myka…"

"I can't be with you, not when we run the risk of almost dying every day. I can't lose another partner."

"Myka…we can make this work."

"Pete, I don't think I can…not this time."

She turned away from him.

"Myka, please."

* * *

><p>A quick trip to the pet store left Trai with a new collar, and a tag with the address for Dorian's on it. Artie's office now had a bed and bowls in it, as did Artie's bedroom, and an additional set at the B&amp;B. Trai was happily laying on Artie's foot while he worked.<p>

"When did we get a dog?" Pete asked, having just entered the room.

"Trai owns Artie." Claudia explained.

"Don't you mean Artie owns the dog?"

"The dog's name is Trai." Steve said.

"Dogs own us, cats are prisoners, but dogs own us." Artie said.

* * *

><p>Pete approached Myka.<p>

"Myka, I know you're scared, but we can get through this."

"Pete, last time I was in a relationship with my partner, he died. I can't deal with that again."

Pete embraced Myka.

"I'm not going anywhere."


	26. Family Distress

Title: Family Distress

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Myka, Artie, Claudia, Pete, Steve, Jane

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to The 40th Floor. I'll write for the other episodes as I'm inspired to, so they'll be out of order. Family Angst.

Okay, I'm going to say RIGHT NOW that I have a DAMN good reason for not making this AU for this episode, but I'm NOT telling.

Edit: October 7th 2011: Moved to be in episode order.

* * *

><p>Atlanta, Georgia<p>

* * *

><p>"We'll find another way down!" Myka called down to Artie, her heart breaking at the look on his face, they both knew the likely hood of them failing.<p>

Artie looked up at Myka, and suddenly, the platform started moving down. Myka's face was getting farther away. His heart broke. He felt like he was abandoning his own child, and the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Myka was his daughter, not legally, or by blood, but by bond. He turned to snap at the reagent next to him, but stopped as the platform hit the ground. Firefighters rushed up to them.

"What's going on?"

Artie flashed his badge and informed them that the situation was under control. Myka didn't need Artie to be a concerned parent, she needed him to be her superior agent.

"Artie!"

Pete and Claudia were dashing around the corner.

"Artifacts created by emotion sometimes need other emotions to cancel them out."

Artie and Claudia stepped back from Pete, who was spraying a peace sign over the Anarchy symbol. Artie placed a hand on Claudia's arm, mostly to reassure himself that she was okay.

* * *

><p>After Myka and Jane are rescued<p>

* * *

><p>"Myka!" Artie made his way to her side.<p>

"Artie."

He pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm okay, Artie. I'm okay."

* * *

><p>"I want to introduce you to her."<p>

Pete followed Myka to where the reagent was standing.

"Jane, I'd like you to meet my partner, Agent Pete Lattimer."

The reagent, Jane, turned. To say Pete was shocked was an understatement.

"Mom?"

"Hello Pete."

Jane embraced her son, Pete was still reeling from the revelation.

"I'm proud of you."

* * *

><p>"Claude, you know there's no one I'd rather chase artifacts with than you."<p>

"What's wrong? It sounds like you have bad news."

"I was…insubordinate."

"Welcome to my world."

"Seriously. I drew my gun on Mrs. Fredric…She fired me."

Claudia's heart simultaneously dropped and broke. Tears sprang to her eyes.

"I'll talk to Artie, he can talk to her…"

"No, Claude."

"But-"

"I can't do this."

Steve kissed Claudia's cheek and pressed something into her hand. Jeanne's ring.

"Take care of her."

Claudia sank to the ground as Steve walked away. Her tears began to fall.

"Not again, not again…"

* * *

><p>Artie found Claudia on the ground leaning on a wall, crying and muttering to herself.<p>

"Not again…"

"Claudia?"

She looked up at him, tears running freely down her face, makeup running.

"Mrs. Fredric fired Steve."

Artie, with some difficulty, sat next to Claudia, letting her cling to him as she cried. He wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, but he knew that to her it wouldn't be, not for a long time.


	27. Father Daughter Moment

Title: Father Daughter Moment

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Claudia, Artie, Trai

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Expanded 40th Floor tag. Parental Artie/Claudia. Artie and Claudia need a chapter of their own for fluffiness. Trai gets used as a shameless comfort object, and Artie gets covered in drool and tears.

Short

Edit: October 19th 2011-fixed footnote

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>Claudia had spent the entire trip back to Univille silent and staring into space. Upon tripping over a chair in Artie's office, she finally snapped out of it. Pete and Myka had headed back to Leena's leaving Artie and Claudia alone.<p>

"Claudia, come here." Artie called softly from the recently uncovered couch.

Claudia went over to Artie, and let herself cry into his jacket. Several minutes later she suddenly looked up.

"Promise me you aren't going anywhere."

"I promise, Claude, I'm not going anywhere."

She sniffed.

"Good, because I can't lose another dad, not after losing another brother."

Trai decided that it was a good time to come over and crawl into Artie's lap (1). Claudia laughed and petted the dog, who happily drooled on his master's lap. Claudia laughed as Artie made a face before joining Claudia in petting the dog. He still seemed in shock about what Claudia had said.

"Do you really see me like that?"

"Huh? Like a dad, yeah. Duh."

Artie smiled.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah, I've thought of you and Myka as my daughters for a while."

Claudia sniffed again, her tears stopped for the moment, and hugged Artie.

"Thanks, Dad."

Trai licked Claudia's cheek. Claudia cuddled the dog. Seeing him hurt, since she'd found him with Steve, but he was cute, and animals were good for healing the soul. Artie smiled, seeing Claudia smiling, no matter how faintly.

* * *

><p>(1) My rottie did that to my mom...it was hilarious.<p> 


	28. Proud DRABBLE

Title: Proud DRABBLE

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Jane, Pete

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Shadows. DRABBLE. Here I delve into drabbles…nothing really needed to be addressed RAXS wise, yet, except the end of Pete and Jane's 40th Floor segment a few chapters ago.

* * *

><p>Leena's Bed and Breakfast<p>

* * *

><p>Pete sat across from his mother in the front room of the B&amp;B. She looked downcast, and more than a little guilty.<p>

"I really am proud of you."

Pete looked his mom in the eye, for the first time in a long time, and embraced her.

"Thanks mom."


	29. BFFEWYLON drabble

Title: BFFEWYLON DRABBLE

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Claudia Jinks

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Insatable. More Claudia Jinksy BFFE ness Drabble. I SWEAR, as soon as I can, I'll return to the Artifacts!

* * *

><p>Somewhere<p>

* * *

><p>"Lose my number."<p>

He couldn't believe he'd told her that. It hurt driving her away, and he hoped she'd forgive him.

His phone beeped.

* * *

><p>The Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p>Claudia's finger hovered over the delete option. She hesitated, before pressing a button.<p>

SEND.

* * *

><p>From: Claudia<p>

Miss you! Your BFFEWYLON (Whether You Like It Or Not)


	30. Lost

Title: Lost

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Claudia, Pete, Myka, Artie, Leena, Jeanne, Jack, Dorian, Nny, Steve

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Emily Lake/Stand. This episode will have multiple tags. This one is Claudia focus. Written with a headache and a mild case of being creeped out by a tank of angelfish…*coughwhoreadstheseanyway?cough*

I see you 350 visitors...lurking there...not reviewing...

You who do review know who you are, and get internet donuts for doing so. (And are NOT counted in the aforementioned visitor total)

Reviews make the shitty days go away.

* * *

><p>Leena's Bed and Breakfast<p>

* * *

><p>Everyone seemed to just exist. Walking through the motions, drifting. Leena got up and made breakfast, Pete and Myka came down the stairs five minutes apart, Artie showed up for breakfast ten minutes late, but Claudia had locked herself in her room, refusing to eat, or even come out.<p>

Inside her room, Claudia was staring at the small box Mrs. Fredric had handed her before she died. Part of her told her to ignore it, a bigger part told her to open it. It wasn't wrapped, it was just a small plain wooden box, similar to many that had been on the shelves of the Warehouse, back when there was a Warehouse. She picked it up, it felt like a majority of the weight was the box itself. She flipped the small latch on the front and opened the lid, bursting into even more tears when she saw what was in the box.

Steve's badge

Downstairs, Artie was sitting in a chair in a corner of the parlor with Trailer at his feet, Dorian had brought him over, and sat with Artie for a while. The two could hear Claudia's renewed sobs from their spot, and Dorian nudged his partner, in an attempt to make him go upstairs.

Pete could hear her from his spot on the other side of the room from Artie, Dorian and Trai. He had a silently sobbing Myka in his arms. With nothing to occupy her mind, everything had crashed into her at once, and with her photographic memory, she could recall every previously suppressed detail. Jack was attempting to comfort his partner, while Nny was being helpfully silent, he seemed to pick up that his commentary would make things worse. Leena was paused outside Claudia's door, having picked up something unusual from the room, but she decided against disturbing the upset woman, Jeanne followed her back down the stairs, tears filling her eyes.

* * *

><p>Univille Cemetery<p>

* * *

><p>Claudia, Pete, Myka, Artie, Leena, Dorian, Jack, and Jeanne were the only ones in the small cemetery. Claudia was sobbing into Artie's jacket, much like Myka was doing to Pete. The memorial service for Steve had ended several minutes ago, but Claudia couldn't bring herself to leave just yet. Myka was a few feet away where a stone was erected, but no grave dug. There hadn't been enough of H.G left to bury. The stone was for Emily Lake, but it was as close as Myka was going to get. Claudia stood, on her own, in front of the newest grave.<p>

Steven Jinks. His dates of birth and death. Nothing else. No words of honor, nothing to say he was a hero. Claudia dropped to her knees in front of the grave of her best friend.

"You promised…"

'I intend to keep it.'

Claudia looked up and around. Artie was over by his car, waiting for her, but not really watching her, the others had gone on ahead.

'Over here.'

Claudia turned around and nearly got whiplash. Steve was standing behind his grave marker, literally pale as a ghost.

"Jinksy?"

'Yeah. Who else would I be?'

Claudia stared, tears welling up in her eyes.

"How?"

Ghost-Steve shrugged.

'I guess the saying is true: Once a Warehouse Agent, Always a Warehouse Agent.'

Claudia dug his badge out of her pocket.

"You're connected to your badge, aren't you?"

Ghost-Steve shrugged again.

'I assume so.'

"You're lying."

Ghost-Steve froze, not expecting her to pick up on it.

'You're good.'

"Tell me the truth!"

'About what?'

"How are you still he—you're an artifact…"

Claudia's voice caught as she spoke, and Ghost-Steve nodded.

"CLAUDIA! IT'S GETTING LATE!" Artie yelled.

"We WILL talk about this later, Jinksy."

'I expect nothing less.'


	31. Artifact Sheet: Steve Jinks Badge

Artifact Sheet

Authoress Ramblings: Well I can finally post this. And this:

The new artifact/agent groups are:

Nny(Johnny)/Pete

Jack/Myka

Dorian/Artie

Steve (Jinksy)/Claudia

Jeanne/ Leena

NOTE: Artifact Sheets will also be archived in their own story for ease of access. This DOES mean that they will be DOUBLE POSTED.

* * *

><p>Artifact Name: Steve Jinks' Badge<p>

Object: ATF Badge

Age: Less than one year

Origin: America

Properties: Gives the holder the ability to tell when someone is lying

Danger Level: low

Notes: Like Helena's hologram form, Steve can't interact physically (Touch, grasp, pick up, etc) with the world, however he CAN interact physically with the holder of the badge (touch their shoulder, move their hair, hug them, etc).


	32. Closure

Title: Closure

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Pete, Myka, Jack

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Tag to Emily Lake/Stand. This is the last tag for _**this episode**_. Myka centric. Sorry guys, I've been distracted, I apologize.

Also: Just noticed. Nny hardly shows up…ever…well it IS hard to fit him in since he's technically just a notebook.

* * *

><p>"I smell apples."<p>

Helena smiled at Myka before the world erupted in flames.

"HELENA!" Myka yelled.

Pete sighed. Myka was having a nightmare, again. She woke up sobbing, again. Pete held her while she cried.

"It'll be okay, Myks, it'll be okay."

But Pete knew the truth, it wouldn't be okay, not for a long time.

* * *

><p>Myka was curled in a chair, with a book, reading out loud to Jack. Her voice wavered before breaking.<p>

"We can read a different book, luv."

Myka nodded, thankful for the distraction.

"I'm sorry."

"No need to be, luv. We're all shaken up."

Myka forced a smile and nodded.

"I know."

* * *

><p>Myka stood in front of a newly erected grave marker. Claudia was a few spaces over, in front of Steve's grave. Myka was trying to achieve closure, but it wasn't enough to be there in front of a fake grave for a fake woman. She sighed, no more tears would fall, Helena wouldn't have liked Myka shedding so many tears for her.<p>

"Helena…thank you..."

A light breeze stirred her hair as she headed back to the car.


	33. Because

Title: Because

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Pete, Nny, Jack, Jeanne, Dorian (cameo)

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: Happy Holidays from the cast of RAXS. This is the tag to "The Greatest Gift." No real mention of the original cast, since we saw how Pete affected them…

Short because my *censored* laptop is *censored* me off. I DON'T WANT TO *CENSORED* ERASE THE ENTIRE THING JUST TYPING YOU *CENSORED* *CENSORED*…Sorry…ranting at my laptop…censored to keep our T rating…if chunks are missing in the fic, let me know…I'll fix it on a different computer…

* * *

><p>MacPherson's Warehouse<p>

* * *

><p><em>'Who are you? Why do you have my necklace? DID THE CHIHUAHUA SEND YOU!'<em>

Pete groaned in frustration.

"Not even you remember me?"

_'I don't even know you! WHY ARE YOU HERE! YOU'RE NOT HERE!'_

"It's me, Pete…"

_'Are you a victim?' _Nny sounded calmer.

"No! I'm your partner!"

_'I DON'T HAVE A PARTNER!' _

A familiar drunken chuckle echoed to Pete's left.

"Ello, mate."  
>"JACK! You remember me?"<p>

It was highly unlikely, since that was how Jack greeted everyone.

"Can't say that I do…have I threatened you before?"

"Once…but that isn't the point...I'm Pete…"

"Have we met before?"

"In my reality…we don't get along well…you're Myka's partner…"

"Sounds to me like you've been in the sun too long…"

Jack put his arm around Jeanne, who kissed the pirate's cheek.

"Who's your friend?"

"Stark raving mad."

The two spirits headed off.

* * *

><p>Pete saw Artie pause for several seconds as they were leaving the bronze sector.<p>

"Old friend of yours?" Myka asked.

"That's Dorian Gray." Pete supplied, "In my reality, he's a lawyer."

"I didn't think they'd bronze him after I was arrested…"

"Dorian Gray…as in the portrait?"  
>"That's in the Dark Vault."<p>

As Pete saw the pain in Artie's eyes as he looked at Dorian, he was thankful he'd been born, and grateful he'd changed the lives of those closest to him for the better.


	34. Box

Title: Box

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Dorian, Mrs. Fredric

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: GUESS WHO'S BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH METAL GEAR! I need you guys to send prompts/challenges/ideas/requests for this, otherwise I won't havemotivation to work on it during the offseason… Since I can't JUST post an author's note, I give you this little random, pointless, horridly OoC thingy.

*CoughIDON'TOWNMETALGEARSOLIDCough*

No, the cardboard box WILL NOT be an artifact unless someone wants it to be…

* * *

><p>"It's a box."<p>

"Good to see that your eyesight isn't completely gone..."

Mrs. Fredric was looking into a rather large box, she suspected it had at one point held several large pieces of armor, two of which Dorian fenced with. Inside the box, was none other than Dorian himself.

"Why are you in a box?"

"It felt like it was my destiny to be in the box."

The caretaker did not look amused.

"Seriously, Dorian, why are you in the box."

"I was being serious. You should join me in my box."

"No, thank you."

Dorian shrugged as best he could.

"Your loss."


	35. BFFAED

Title: BFFEAD

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Jinks, Claudia

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: The box IS slated to be an artifact retrieval chapter (REMIND ME LATER!). Okay, so this was a request, and it WAS coming eventually anyway, but it got my off my (notso) lazy arse, and got me actually writing, instead of random video game stuff (like Box). This is up earlier than I promised...suprising because I spent the day asleep in my pillow and blanket fort since it's FREAKING FREEZING! I hate the cold...anyways...the next chapter is being written…I got bit by the Yaoi Bug…again…so I need to write a non-Yaoi chapter…unless you guys want it. Majority rules on that one.

Oh, and tmmdeathwishraven? This is longer than a drabble, it's 403 words not including the Authoress Ramblings. (It's 303 words longer than a drabble!)

* * *

><p><em>'From: Claudia<em>

_Miss you! Your BFFEWYLON (Whether You Like It Or Not)'_

His phone was in his desk drawer, which was in his room, which was sealed inside the Warehouse. It wasn't hard to get to, he _was_ a ghost after all. No…ghost wasn't the right word…Artifact might be better. He'd died, murdered, if his entry in the computer was anything to go by, and he'd woken up to Claudia crying in front of his grave, he'd woken up as a not-quite ghost, bound to his badge, and to a lesser extent, Claudia.

'Jinksy? Where are you?' Claudia's voice rang clearly in his mind, a side effect of her holding his badge.

'We need to talk, meet me in Artie's office?'

Steve sighed, he knew this was coming.

* * *

><p>Claudia was examining the badge she wore on a chain around her neck.<p>

"Claude?"

She didn't know why he'd returned to her, but she was glad he had. She looked up sharply.

"Hey Jinksy."

Artie had thought that it was because of his determination.

"Why did you come back?" Well…that was blunt…too blunt maybe?

"I don't know…I think it was because I couldn't fail another sister, and I couldn't let you lose another brother. I failed Olivia, and I couldn't do that to you."

Claudia blinked back tears.

"You never failed me."

"I abandoned you…twice."

"You came back!"

Steve wanted to touch her, to hug her, she looked so upset. He attempted to touch her shoulder, surprised to see that he could, he hugged her tightly.

"I'm not leaving again."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

><p>When Artie and Trai returned from their walk, they found Claudia curled into Steve's side on the couch (1).<p>

"You can touch her?" Artie lowered his voice when Steve shushed him.

"Just her…and apparently the couch if she's touching it at the same time."

Artie made a note to add that to the artifact file and set to work.

He heard occasional whimpers from Claudia, due to her nightmares, but Steve was quick to calm her, before Artie could even turn his chair.

"This is probably the most she's slept since you left." Artie's remark made Steve feel guilty.

"I didn't want to." Steve said, calming Claudia by stroking her hair.

"I know."

When Claudia woke up, Steve was gone, in his place was a note. She smiled when she read it.

_'Went to sleep, be back later._

_Your BFFEAD (Even After Death),_

_Steve.'_

* * *

><p>1: I'm not entirely sure that there is a couch in Artie's office in the show, but this one has been used before here in RAXS, so it stays.<p> 


	36. Artifact

Title: Artifact

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Dorian, Artie, Claudia

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: There is a link on my profile that says 'Homepage' and another under 'Contact Info' that reads 'deviantArt' clicking either will take you to my deviantArt page (Bl00dstain3dT3ars), where there is a tab that says 'Gallery' where there is a folder that says 'Fics-RAXS' where there is a list of things about Dorian. I recommend reading it. (Oh, and tmmdeathwishraven, I AM working on your requests for Dorian's fic…slowly.) This is also the first chapter of The Portrait of Freedom (Yes, double posting)…corny title, but it comes from the end of Dorian's mini arc here, and the fact that he has a portrait…ye-eah…I'm so lame…my K key sticks.

* * *

><p>Claudia trailed a finger through the substance on the floor.<p>

"Paint?" She looked up at Artie.

"Dorian's hurt somewhere…"

"He bleeds paint?"

"He IS linked to a painting."

"Fair point."

Meanwhile, Dorian was leaning against the shelves, below the Babel Stones, holding his arm. He'd tried to help with a rouge artifact and gotten injured in the process. The artifact, a nasty looking shrunken head, had bitten him, hard enough to draw blood. His blood turned to paint when it left his body. A century and some odd years of being an artifact tended to do strange things to people. He was immune to most artifact effects, although he did trigger them. He could feel his wound heal with a painful burn. The last time he'd been injured enough for it to burn was when he'd fallen off the shelf into the Rumplestilskin (1) crate. That had NOT been pretty.

"Dorian? You okay?" Claudia was looking closely at his arm, he'd zoned out and hadn't heard her or his friend approach.

"I'm fine, Arthur, tell her I'm fine."

"How does a human bleed paint?"

"When one is sustained by a painting, unusual things happen. You've seen odder."

Dorian certainly had, and he just LIVED in the Warehouse. He also hated addressing the fact that he was no longer human, he'd ceased to be human the day he sold his soul. It had been a bright and sunny day, a beautiful day, that Dorian now cursed.

"Vanity will get you nothing…" He mused, getting up off the floor and climbing to the top of the shelves.

"What do you suppose he meant by that?"

"Dorian isn't human."

"What is he?"

"An Artifact."

* * *

><p>1: I really don't care if I got that spelled right. I'm just glad it looks close.<p> 


	37. Tesla

Title: Tesla

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Pete, Steve, Dorian

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: I apologize for how late this is, but with no Warehouse 13, there has been a lack of stuff to write about. I need to re-read 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' again before working on TPOF.

Dedicated to: tmmdeathwishraven, and her "A Day in the Warehouse." Go read it, she writes Dorian absolutely brilliantly. That's how Dorian acted until he got tired of his cursed immortality…I can see him acting like that very rarely nowadays. The line that inspired this was : "You come near me with that," Jinx said as Pete took a step towards him with the microphone in hand and a Pete-ish grin on his face, "And I _**will**_ Tesla you. Repeatedly. In the face."

Also…this is AU, Dorian is not free from the Warehouse.

* * *

><p>It was a rather uneventful day in the Warehouse, which was rather abnormal. Dorian was asleep on the couch with Trai using his thigh as a pillow, drooling on him. Claudia was poking at the new tracking device the Regents insisted Dorian be fitted with, with Artie looking over her shoulder, Myka was reading something out loud to Jack, and Pete and Nny were playing tic-tac-toe. Pete had quickly grown bored of his game and took his marker over near Dorian. The energy in the room seemed to still.<p>

Pete uncapped the marker.

Dorian was still asleep.

Pete readied the marker.

Dorian appeared to still be asleep.

Pete lowered the marker.

ZZZZZZAP!

Pete shot back with a yelp and held his face before succumbing to the stunning effect of the Tesla in Dorian's hand.

Dorian rarely slept where he could be found by the agents, and the Warehouse shelving had some particularly nasty artifacts on them, so he carried a Tesla, but rarely used it. It was useful for silencing Rumplestilskin, the crate just happened to be below Dorian's preferred sleeping spot. Dorian glared at Trai, who woofed happily at him, before sighing and deciding to remain awake for the time being.

Pete groaned on the floor.


	38. Crossover

Title: Crossover

Fandom: Warehouse 13/Sanctuary

RAXS

Characters: Myka, Dorian, Nikola T.

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: I figured that I needed to post something to inform the masses that TOPF is on semi-permanent hiatus, because I've lost my inspiration and RAXS will update regularly-ish once Warehouse 13 picks up again, with episode tags. I just need to get my mojo back for this fandom. For now, here is this.

Warnings: Inappropriate use of more than one type of Tesla. (I kid, I kid.) Bad writing, no plot, filler…take your pick.

* * *

><p>Myka had her tesla pointed at the well dressed man in the office. He dusted off his suit sleeve.<p>

"Who are you?"

"He's alright." Dorian said, lowering Myka's arm.

"Dorian?"

"Nikola. It's been a long time."

"Oxford, I believe."

"Dorian, who is this?"  
>"Nikola Tesla."<p>

"Nikola Tesla…THE Nikola Tesla?"

Nikola looked smug.

"What are you doing here, Nikola?"

"Just picking something up." Nikola walked out into the warehouse, and headed for the Tesla section.

"I have an entire section? I'm flattered."

He selected several items, and Myka uttered protests, until Nikola presented her with a form from the Regents.

"See you around, Children."

"Sometimes I wonder why HE wasn't bronzed." Dorian gripped.


	39. We're Okay

Title: We're Okay

Fandom: Warehouse 13

RAXS

Characters: Artie, Claudia

Rating: T

Authoress Ramblings: It's less than a drabble, but it's an update…

Episode Tag for Season 4 Ep 2 An Evil Within

* * *

><p>"Are we okay?"<p>

Artie nodded and Claudia moved to join the others at the table. Artie reached out and touched her arm.

"We're okay." _I just wish I could tell you…_

Artie let her go, and pulled out his pocket pinger.

_I really hope this is wrong._


	40. Authoress Ramblings

Hi, Bl00dstain3d here!

This isn't a chapter; it's just an update of a couple things. This is written to address both my FFN readers and my readers on the Archive, which means, sorry Archivers, no links.

One: It was never my intention to abandon this. My muses are fickle things, and Warehouse 13 had me crushed for a long while, then life happened. I know these are just excuses, but they're my reasons this hasn't actually been updated in two years and just moved to the Archive.

Two: The end of this fic will be the last episode of the show, and any tags or things related to it. That being said, there are still things that will happen in this verse. I will wrap up the arc started in "The Madame's Ring," the Sherlock Holmes arc started way back in Dorian's arc, and if all works out there will be one more arc with new artifacts. How fast or slow these new updates come has yet to be determined.

Three: The Rewrite. There has been talk of a rewrite for RAXS here on the archive. It has been two years since I posted "We're Okay" (Chapter 39) on FFN, three since I posted "The Pirate's Compass" (Chapter 1), this train wreck is due a rewrite. Here are the planned changes:

1: Nny. Nny is getting a complete overhaul. He does not work the way I had him originally.

2: Steve. Steve is changing to be closer to canon.

3: Reformatting chapters. Most of the chapters need to be reformatted. This is due to both Nny and Steve changing and my disgust at their current format.

4: That annoying to keep as subtext subtext between Dorian and Artie will be changing. Not sure how yet, when I first wrote Dorian in I wanted to avoid any blatant yaoi, while having them have history, that history will not change, please leave your opinions via review or comment.

5: Dorian's arc (Chapters 16-19) Dorian's arc is getting overhauled. It will stay as RAXS rather than TPOF, as it sets the stage for TPOF…for now. It also may take TPOF's place as its own fic.

6: TPOF. The Portrait of Freedom is supposed to be a collection of Dorian centric pieces taking place after his arc in RAXS, as of now it only has one chapter, which is also in RAXS. It will be removed. However, TPOF has nothing to do with the show itself, and as such will be picked up AFTER RAXS is done and over with. It may end up being renamed if I move Dorian's arc.

7: The other arcs:

-The Sherlock Holmes arc: This arc was hinted at starting in Dorian's arc, in chapter 19. It was one of the original planed arcs that sort of fell through. It may become its own fic.

-The Vera Renczi Wedding Ring arc: This arc was started in "The Madame's Ring." As of now it stays, but may be lost in the rewrite due to Nny's influence in it.

-The "Shiny New Mystery" arc: This arc is actually a reader suggestion. If all goes well it will be a Sweeny Todd arc, with Sweeny Todd and Mrs. Lovett (I think I spelled that right). It is currently tabled as a later project, for after the rewrite, and may become its own fic.

Four: Reader feedback and interaction. RAXS and its associated universe were ALWAYS meant to be interactive. Granted it is a little easier to do on FFN with the review system, but RAXS cannot be reasonably supported by one author, it is just too open. Fandoms get ignored and then the fans get upset, so RAXS is available to "fanfic a fanfic," so to speak. Want to write a chapter? GREAT! Go for it and I'll post it with credit, or on the Archive, there is that nifty co-writer thing going on. Want to have your artifact featured? WONDERFUL! There is another fic in the universe that has ALL the artifact sheets in it, go look at it for a loose guide and submit it to me; I'll use it with credit, or again, that co-writer thing. PMs work great for preventing theft in reviews and comments, and I have Tumblr (Bl00dstain3dT3ars)

Four and a half: First I need to figure out the co-writer thing…

Five: Reviews and Comments. I try to reply to every review and every comment, on every story. It can get difficult, so if I miss yours, let me know, because I really hate to miss any feedback, ideas, or "submissions."

That should be it for now. FFNers, this should be taken down soonish, if I remember to do so…


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